Posted by: bee | 2009-03-13

Mother in law

I sometimes wonder why I bother trying to fit into my husbands side of the family....just when I feel like they are excepting me then I get knocked back 2 feet again...I met my husband about 10 years ago....we dated for a couple of months then i moved to his city...we stayed togher...his idea...I couldn' t find work so I took care of the,cooking etc... anyway we eventually got married...I started working..worked for 2 years then hubby said stop and stay at home...I earned R1800-00 pm..of wich most went to that stage we were trying for a baby but heard we wern' t able to have we worked through it...stress etc...I got a feeling that mom in law didn' t like when when I heard her bad mouth me one day by accident...that was when we were engaged...Before me she is different and people say oh your mother in law is crazy about u but behind my back it is a different story.. I never did or say anthing bad about them....She does the same with the other daughter in law.... I just feel like runing away...oh well I vented thanks for listening...

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Our expert says:
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Your husband ought to defend you and to make it clear to his family that he expects them to respect you. That she is nasty about the other daughter-in-law as well, tells us, and any other sensible person, that she's a nasty and embittered old woman

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Our users say:
Posted by: Its like that | 2009-03-13

Sons and Daughters in law are not seen in he same light as ones own off spring. There is a very true saying, that no one is good enough for my son or daughter. Its a natural event. One always tries to extend parental love to an in law, but bear in mind, they come from differing backgrounds with different ideas and habits to ones own children. Often the ideas and habits are far removed from what you would like for your child or grandchildren, and that often causes conflict, even if its not out in the open, there are behind the scenes comments and disapproval. No matter how pliable and non interfering you as a MIL or FIL try to be you cannot help having feelings if you see something happening that you do not approve of, or if you think your child is suffering as a result of that. This has been going on for thousands of years and no doubt will continue. I am not sure how to resolve it apart from taking your MIL out for tea and having a good old heart to heart and tell her of your insecurities/dislikes etc and find out if there is anything you are doing that is irritating her or that you can change.

Reply to Its like that
Posted by: T | 2009-03-13

My late mother in law was the same. She used to bad mouth her kids also. From what they wore to how they were raising their kids. She was a piece of work

Reply to T

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