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Question
Posted by: Naked Nun | 2008-11-11

Moronic decision  what to do now!!???

This might sound really stupid, but which way around is it: should one expect integrity and honesty etc from people UNTIL otherwise proven, or should one TRUST NO-ONE again until otherwise proven (that they are indeed trustworthy)????

I' ve decided that gullibility is a disability. In my stupid idiotic naivety I confided in a colleague about my boss being an absolute unreasonable B%#^% .......WHAT a mistake. She literally turned around and repeated this (with horrible additions) to this same boss.
Now SHE' s ignoring me,(not good, we work very closely) and my BOSS is (understandably this time) being even MORE of a condescending bitch. As I' ve said, with more than enough reason.

The bad thing is, I would NEVER EVER have said the things I did if my colleague did not provoke me first (okay, that sounds bad, and I' m NOT excusing myself, but she DID approach me first (while we were sharing a room during a conference last week) and began talking about this boss' s horrible behaviour towards HER and then asked me how I' m finding it.
Being relatively new in the company, (as well as a tiny bit lonely) I was only more than relieved to find that I wasn' t the only one who thought our boss had a definite tendency towards bitchy behaviour.)
How STUPID of me.
HOW could I possibly save this situation?
I couldn' t sleep last night and I can' t even eat, not won' t, it feels as if my throat is blocked.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Isn't there a position between those two extremes, NN ? Like, Realism ? Trust, but not too much, people whom it is reasonably realistic to trust, but look out for signs of untrustworthiness ; and mistrust those where there are reasons for not trusting, but remain open to discovering them to be trustworthy. And beware of office politics, and how people may beghave so as to enhance their own positions.
Reasonable suggestions from the other readers, here. Presumably you do need to discuss this with the boss, and should base your comments on the truth, including the way you thought you were comforting the other woman who had said horrible things about the boss, but now realize she was dishonestly provoking you, so as to be able to turn the boss against you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: A friend 2 | 2008-11-11

Hee Hee - A friend, I love the way you think!! It IS dishonest and all, but u know what, if this colleague stabbed Naked Nun in the back, I would do the same BACK at her!

Reply to A friend 2
Posted by: a friend | 2008-11-11

i would tell the boss that the other girl was saying those things at the conference in the room about her,so you just agreed to her opinion about tyhe boss to make her feel better...as you are new in the company its hard to make friends,so you just gave this girl support by agreeing. so tell your boss,"  the things this other girl told her were in fact what she told you about the boss." decieving but it will work:) good luck!!!

Reply to a friend
Posted by: almost mad | 2008-11-11

ask your boss if you could speak. Then exlpain that you were just upset about something and just venting. Tell the truth of exactly what you say and ask if you could just start over again

Reply to almost mad

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