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Question
Posted by: Anthea | 2011/08/11

Moods

Please help me! I am so depressed. It feels like nothing in my life is working out. I am a horrible person to live with. One minute I am feeling ok and happy and the next minute I''m so depressed or angry and frustrated. I don''t know what''s going on!

I used to be a very fun loving easy going person. Now all that has changed. I just had a baby 6 months back and my other child is 7 now. They only know me as a scolding, shouting mad woman. I’ m married for 10 years now. I try and try but everytime its a big failure.

I’ m so down. I feel like my children and my husband will be better off without me. Financially thing are not working out and its driving me insane. It’ s all I think about, how to make ends meet and I feel like I’ m the only one worried about where the next meal is coming from etc.

Please help me, this cannot be normal.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe there's an element of Post-Natal Deprerssion, and some of your comments certainly sound like that ; maybe other factors are also at play here. One thing you must be totally certain of - your husband and children will NOT in any way whatever, be any better off without you.
Dpressed people feel hopeless, and are much less successful in whatever they try, than they would usually be. DO, really urgently, see a good local psychiatrist for a proper assessment and treatment for depression if he confirms that is present. Privately if possible, or through a provinial hospital or local medical school.
This is not normal, and not inevitable, and is very, very treatable, which will be for the great beenfit of you, your husband, your children, and everyone else who knows and loves you

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Anthea | 2011/08/11

Thank you very much, both comments are really encouraging, i appreciate it.

Reply to Anthea
Posted by: Caro | 2011/08/11

Once you have taken control of the financial situation things will feeel more manageable. Listen to above advice. Go to see a counselor. You are worrying about too much. A new baby can mean post-partum depression. I had it too. It''s ok. Get some help from your doctor.
Cook cheaper meals. Dont eat out or order takeaways. Cook double for two nights with different veg. Veg meals are quicker to prepare anyway. Grill food in the oven rather than having to stand over a pan or pot.
Apologise to the older child for shouting but tell her Mommy is sometimes frustrated. Can she/he help a bit? Keep baby busy while Mommy has a bath. Call the creditors tomorrow. It will take a load off. They have to understand even if you can only pay each of them R50 per month. Dont incur more debt. Write up a plan with hubby.
Good luck. I got through it.

Reply to Caro
Posted by: W | 2011/08/11

You need to take a step back and count your blessing, you have healthy children, a long standing marriage and I am sure the list goes on. Yes you are having finacial difficulties but they will pass.
Take it one step at a time, organise your life in the morning before work if you do work so that you can have a bit of free time to spend with the kids before bed (they need to see your fun lighter side too not just the busy mommy), and in turn will have some time with hubby too. Budget, call your debtors and explain you are having a bit of a bumpy road and will only be able to pay them X amount or in the next two months etc, believe me they will not come arrest you if you are open and upfront with them. Cook cheaper meals, vegetarian foods are not that expensive and are healthy, there is nothing wrong with lentil curry or all beans stew.

And lastly you will most probably hear that you are suffering of some sort of depression on here (and maybe you are) but all I can make of it is a Mother/Wife on the brink of a burnout beacause of circumstances, take time to breath, pray and just be with yourself even if its 10min in your car before going to the office anything, and remember you are only human. Good luck and remember this to shall pass.

Reply to W
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/11

Maybe there's an element of Post-Natal Deprerssion, and some of your comments certainly sound like that ; maybe other factors are also at play here. One thing you must be totally certain of - your husband and children will NOT in any way whatever, be any better off without you.
Dpressed people feel hopeless, and are much less successful in whatever they try, than they would usually be. DO, really urgently, see a good local psychiatrist for a proper assessment and treatment for depression if he confirms that is present. Privately if possible, or through a provinial hospital or local medical school.
This is not normal, and not inevitable, and is very, very treatable, which will be for the great beenfit of you, your husband, your children, and everyone else who knows and loves you

Reply to cybershrink

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