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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012-08-31

Mood Swings and Controlling Nature

My boyfriend has a controlling nature and eratic mood swings. He has this crazy need to control who I spend time with, check my call and message logs on my cellphone, and decides who I spend time with. In short he basically wants to control me. I''m not perfect but I''m good at most things but I never get thanked for all the things I do for him and when I refuse to do things for him, he tells me how horrible I am and then he threatens me. I really take no notice of his threats because they are childish. We''ve been together for a year and a half and the only reason I''m still around is because I really love him but there is alimit to how much verbal and emotional abuse one can take. He has a terrible temper but strangley enough I''m not phased by this because his threats carry no weight whatsoever. He would threaten to leave me to which I offer no resistance and then change his story 5 minutes later. Things would be perfect for a few days and then suddenly they would spiral out of control. I''ve suggested relationship counselling but he says that I''m the one that needs counselling. What is he afraid of? I''m having a difficult time trying to figure out he has a serious problem and I was hoping you could suggest how I can go about to determine that.

Thanks,
Anon

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why did you choose such a person as your boyfriend, and why have you chosen to keep him in that position ? Do you really feel a need to be over-controlled and under-appreciated ? What on earth do you find Loveable and deserving of your love, in that ?
What makes you accept abuse and being taken for granted ? Surely you dont think you deserve that ? And don't assume that his temper tantrums and threats will always be safe to ignore
Why stay with him ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Lady Luck | 2012-08-31

Hi Anon,

I think that you run! He is not going to chance, and life for you will not be pleasant in the future.

Reply to Lady Luck
Posted by: Purple | 2012-08-31

Why do you want to stay with someone who clearly doesn''t think very much of you at all. If this is how things are so early in the relationship - how much worse will they be in a year or two? If you have any self respect, you won''t put up with this.

Reply to Purple

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