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Question
Posted by: Nini | 2011/08/08

Money issues

My husband is a divorcee with two kids. I also have a kid from a previous relationship. Whenever he does not have money, I always help be it the children''s fee, personal loans etc.

But when he''s got money, he goes all silent and never breath a word. I will only see that by him spending it. How do I manage this? This is really a problem.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Lets see what other readers have to say, here. I believe that in any healthy steady relationship, you should both be transparent about meny matters, knowing what each other earns and how it gets spent, especially if you are married. NOT to let you know suggests he somehow doesn't trust you, or is doing something with the money he doesnt want you to know about. You need to calmly talk this through, together

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Queen | 2011/08/10

I''m also like your hubby. I''m very selfish. I prefer keeping my money, I think its for security reasons. When I have money I feel in control.

Your best bet is to not help him with money. That way he''ll have to spend his money wisely. He''ll know that you are not his back up plan.

Reply to Queen
Posted by: Obvious | 2011/08/08

Going forward do not give him money but LEND IT.
Make him sign an acknowledgement of debt for each amount(This document is available from most stationers) stating you will also do this when u borrow from him.

I think u will find he will stop borrowing money from you as he will know he will legally have 2 pay u back!

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: IX | 2011/08/08

he might be using this as an excuse to feel sorry for him. If he is normal he will share when he has access money. Sort this issue out before it becomes a problem.

Reply to IX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/08

Lets see what other readers have to say, here. I believe that in any healthy steady relationship, you should both be transparent about meny matters, knowing what each other earns and how it gets spent, especially if you are married. NOT to let you know suggests he somehow doesn't trust you, or is doing something with the money he doesnt want you to know about. You need to calmly talk this through, together

Reply to cybershrink

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