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Question
Posted by: Tired | 2010/02/04

money

When I met him I was stayuing with my aunt.i was on a learnership..not earning much.we were stayijngg at kasi.and there was someone I was dating at the time who was helping out at home.we met at school four years before I meet my current bf.so I decided I want to move in to my own place.my 4 years nf and I were apart.i wasn’ t getting much but I was tired of supporting my aunt and her 5 kids ,I couldn’ t even do things for myself.but I knew that moving out would be a bit tough since I wasn’ t getting paid much.a month after I moved he asked me to move in with him.i told him I cant afford the town house life..he said he don’ t mind.i pay the grocery he wil pay rent..wev been together for 2 years now and im still doing the same job I am applying for other jobs buut no luch..so he recently bought a new car.something bigger than what he had before..and when we met he would always cry about him not having money.i would go to his place and no food..had to use my own money or he would come to my room to eat at times.i didn’ t have a problem.so I thought moving in wil help..we are great together.now his mom thinks he is spending all his money on him.i don’ t help him with anything he does everything for me.he goes home everymonth and he needs R1000.00 petrol for that even more.he went home last week now he has to go again this weekend.he doesn’ t have money..i know hes getting paid well.i expexted him to have something since he didn’ t buy anything..so that’ s where he started that his mom thinks he spends the money on me.i told him he doesn’ t have to go home every month he can go a month after.he said I don’ t want him seing his family..i asked him to look for a room mate.we don’ t need 2bed rooms he refused and 1 of his friends is looking for a place.even when I tell him im hurt about what his mom says he doesn’ t say anything..im pregnant now and I just see money issues and inlaws on the way .imim moving out month end so he can do whatever he wishes and so his mom wont think im the one spending his mney.hes mad..do you think im overeacting when I leave.?iim just tired.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If there's good reason to believe he is being paid well in his job, where does all that moeny go ? What else is he spending it on ?
You need, perhaps with the aid of a counselor, to work out what's best for you. Don't let his mother's mean words ( and has she said this to you directly, or are you hearing gossip from other people ) encourage you to do anything that is NOT in your own best interests

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Kim | 2010/02/04

I don' t think you should move out.
You have a baby on the way! You are going to need him around gal!
I know the money issues and stuff but rather go through it together than apart.
If there is another room then give him a choice, either you rent it out or he pays rent for that extra room that he dsnt want to rent out. You guys need to do this to get extra money.
Also see a financial advisor and work on a budget for the house and all expenses.Tyr to make some plan or other but I dont think you should be alone with a baby and financial problems right now.
Good Luck

Reply to Kim
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/04

If there's good reason to believe he is being paid well in his job, where does all that moeny go ? What else is he spending it on ?
You need, perhaps with the aid of a counselor, to work out what's best for you. Don't let his mother's mean words ( and has she said this to you directly, or are you hearing gossip from other people ) encourage you to do anything that is NOT in your own best interests

Reply to cybershrink

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