Posted by: Ruth | 2011-05-12

Mohter hates my dead father& Insolvency - Reply to YA ALL

We all know how the law works ...especially in SA. LOL LOL LOL
Ask the lawyers. LOL HARDER
Yes all siblings have a responsibility to support their biological parents, that is the interesting part, try to enforce it.
And it does not only extend to financial matters either.
Most people do not know this or that they are in breach of the law having stuffed their parent/s into an old home and leaving it at that.
Providing for physical needs does not equate to care.
Most abuse occurs in the home where the parent lives with their kids. And it does not mean slapping them around.
So try to claim maintenance if you are a neglected parent - it is not more tough than claiming from an ex husband.
Same procedure.
LOL again
By the way, supporting an elderly parent is the same as supporting two kids (tough hey), because hopefully the kids grow up to be independent, the parent gets more dependent. It is not so easy to just put an aged parent into a home even if they are difficult. They are not an animal that goes to a kennel. My mother is super difficult but she did raise me against many odds. I bear that in mind being the Super B& mdash & mdash - that I am.
Try a situation before you judge it.
And as for the Insolvency, well at least I had the money to do it legally and start over. Most of you out there live on your credit cards supporting OTT lifestyles. I struggled because of a family fall-out. More than you can say for yourselves.
A very biased forum this is.
Ruth (not my real name) naturally

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I haven't seen any bias, but if people don't say what you want them to say, maybe it seems that way to you.
I have never come across the "you must support even abusive or neglectful parents, whether or not you can afford it, and to the standards that they dictate" law being enforced, but nothing much would surprise me these days

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Truth | 2011-05-16

To Jenna


Reply to Truth
Posted by: K | 2011-05-16

Jenna.....wonderful reply.

Reply to K
Posted by: Jenna | 2011-05-15

Hi Ruth, it was only after I saw this post that I decided to go back and read the previous posts. I''m sorry for the trouble you have had, I was working in a business where I did not work directly with insolvencies (spelling) but it did affect some of our clients and I know it is a terrible process. However, please see my points below: A)This is the internet and people will be brutally honest to the extent that it doesn''t seem sincere, but if you are posting your questions on a public forum, you cannot expect butterflies and lollipops. B) People can only comment on the info that is given to them. You cannot say how you are being drained financially in one post then how you are earning an ''average'' salary of R20k in another (which by the way is not so average- it is 3 times my salary more or less, 4 times my sisters salary, non of my friends earn that much, not even my mother)- people WILL comment on it and then it makes you look like you are lying or not telling the whole story (then you complain that people are being biased). C) It is not nice to generalise- my husband is the most average man ever (he earns the same salary I do, he watches sport, drinks, does typical guy things) but he has never cheated on me or abused me, etc. In fact, the average man tries harder to be a good man because he does not have the advantage of being ''above average''. D) Men will stay away from a romantic relationship because of your situation simply because at your age, I would imagine that people have had enough drama in their lives and they want to start settling down, starting a simple life. Last point, again about generalising. You have gone on about people not knowing your financial situation then you assume the whole world is living on their credit cards to live lavish lifestyles. That is a dangerous assumption because most people are not lucky enough to earn an ''average'' salary and need their credit cards just to make it through the month. Being declared insolvent, I would have thought that you would know how hard it is to survive if you have issues and that you sometimes have to go to great lengths just to have grocery money. Perhaps you do have a fantastic personality but unfortunately here you have not displayed it. It''s OK, everyone gets snappy but maybe you should read your posts again and think about what you have said logically and you will maybe understand people''s answers to you.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Average Man | 2011-05-12

OKAY Ruth -I have decided to lower my standards and date you.
Can you please post a contact number?
But remember the first date we go dutch.
Lets meet in a public place after informing others of where we are going and the time we are expected back. This is well known date etiquette as there are a lot of crazies out there.

FYI This invite does NOT include your mother!

Reply to Average Man
Posted by: Truth | 2011-05-12

I see u have accused Average Man of insincerity in his posting do not make the same mistake with me. This post could not be more sincere!
You tell us you are in the process of insolvency, are living with difficulty with your mother and have no relationship with your siblings - problems indeed for someone looking for a n up market man.
You also inform us you are fantastic looking with a great job and caring persona?
However you have failed to commit with the last 2 wonderful relationships you have had.
This may well be because of your biased arrogant snobby nature which has come through very strongly in your postings.
I would like to wish you, in all honesty, the very best going forward - but frankly l cannot.

PS The one thing you have never boasted about in your many writings is how highly intelligent you are which is at least to your credit in truthfulness.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: K | 2011-05-12

you have no idea if Mr Average has a boep or not, what sport he likes, what our credit card usage or incomes are......and you like insulting others , and love generalising. You act as if you know us personally!

You don''t.

You asked if the average guy is put off by your living arrangement....they are. And by a snobbish-attitude, too. Try to keep that in mind and you might not have to sniff on message boards to find out why the guys are not into you.

Reply to K
Posted by: Ella | 2011-05-12

Really followed your postings with interest and actually had sympathy for you. However, you asked for opinions and also gave your (very strong) opinions. When you get told what you don''t want to hear you turn nasty and insulting. Don''t generalize. I understand where you''re coming from. Had to look after my mother in his last days and both my siblings expected me to look after them as well - emotionally and financially whilst I had no one to turn to for any help. That is in the past now but I don''t have contact with either siblings as mom passed away and I owe them nothing.
Don''t burn bridges ''Ruth''. You never know when you need this forum again. Expect the truth when you ask a question.

Reply to Ella
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-05-12

I haven't seen any bias, but if people don't say what you want them to say, maybe it seems that way to you.
I have never come across the "you must support even abusive or neglectful parents, whether or not you can afford it, and to the standards that they dictate" law being enforced, but nothing much would surprise me these days

Reply to cybershrink

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