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Question
Posted by: anonymous | 2011/09/21

moeg vir alkoholis man

Ek is 29. Ek en my man is 10 jaar getroud en het 5 kinders.
Hy is n alkoholis wat gereeld as hy dronk is my en my kinders emosioneel en fisiek sal afknou. Ek moet gerdurig hoor ek is n slegte vrou en ma. n paar maande terug het ek -|- ak gemaak met n ex van my. Ek het besef dat ek nog lief is vir hom, maar ek het weer -|- ak verbreek omdat my man belowe het hy sal verander. ter wille van my kinders het ek my huwelik probeer red, maar daar het net mooi niks van my man se beloftes gekom nie. Is dit die moeite werd om met my huwelik aan te gaan. My man weier dat ons gaan vir berading

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Abuse is not acceptable and should not be tolerable. Contact a group like POWA which offers help to the abused. Geting involved with an ex doesn't really help unless he can help you to safely escape, with the children, from the abuse, or help you gwet to POWA meetings - starting a relationship with him could worsen the problems.
Alcoholics often promise the earth, and don't even remember their promises, let alone keep them.
If he is not seeing a shrink who specializes in alcohol abuse, and not joining AA, he isn't going to stop. There is NO benefit to children in being in a family where there is alcoholism and abuse. As he refuses to join you in counselling, he is refusing to seriously try to improve the situations his drinking creates. Do you have options such as leaving him, with the children, and staying with your family ? If the house was in your name, you could consult a lawyer and have your drinking husband excluded from the house until he has been sober for a year or so

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Hopeloos | 2011/12/07

Jy trek nou eers by 10 jr. Ek sit nou al 32 jr met ''n alkoholis wat nie wil erken hy het ''n probleem nie. Van al die mooi beloftes kom net mooi niks. Hy wil nie vir behandeling gaan nie. Al sy broers is ook alkoholiste - moet seker oorerflik wees. Sy verweer is elke keer " ek sorg goed vir jou - waaroor kla jy" . Ek kyk vir weke anderpad, maar dis moeilik - dis in jou gesig, in jou lewe, in jou bed. Nou het ek alle hoop verloor en bid nie eens meer vir hom nie. Terugtrek in jou eie siel en face die verskriklike eensaamheid in jou huwelik. Leef met ''n smile na buite as mense vra hoe dit gaan - altyd " baie goed"  asof niks verkeerd is nie. En so gaan alle vreugdes by jou verby. Sien jy kans daarvoor? Indien nie, pak jou tasse en loop. Jy het nog ''n kans - jy is jonk. Sterkte!!!

Reply to Hopeloos
Posted by: XXX | 2011/09/21

29 in die fleur van jou lewe en jy moet opgeskeep sit met ''n dronk man, as ek jou kan raad gee is, vat jou kinders en jou goed en begin ''n nuwe lewe. Dit klink miskien hard maar jou man gaan nie verander nie, hy gaan soos hulle se om uit tedroog maar dit gaasn nie lank hou nie dan drink hy weer,as hy nie wil ophou nie,gaan dit nie gebeur nie. Sterkte
Nog ''n ding, by die plek waar hulle gaan om uit te droog drink hulle amper hader as by die huis, hulle smokkel die drank in.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/09/21

Abuse is not acceptable and should not be tolerable. Contact a group like POWA which offers help to the abused. Geting involved with an ex doesn't really help unless he can help you to safely escape, with the children, from the abuse, or help you gwet to POWA meetings - starting a relationship with him could worsen the problems.
Alcoholics often promise the earth, and don't even remember their promises, let alone keep them.
If he is not seeing a shrink who specializes in alcohol abuse, and not joining AA, he isn't going to stop. There is NO benefit to children in being in a family where there is alcoholism and abuse. As he refuses to join you in counselling, he is refusing to seriously try to improve the situations his drinking creates. Do you have options such as leaving him, with the children, and staying with your family ? If the house was in your name, you could consult a lawyer and have your drinking husband excluded from the house until he has been sober for a year or so

Reply to cybershrink

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