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Question
Posted by: M | 2008/07/16

Mixed Feelings

After a tumultous 2 and half year relationship my boyfriend and I decided to call it quits and break up. I moved out into my own place with our daughter. I really loved him and he hurt me but I made sure that it wont get me down and that I will get over him. We were apart for 6 months since the beginning of the year and I felt ready to move on with my life. At the beginning of the month he walked back into my life. I did and still do not have any expectations, for the past 3 weeks we have had fun, more fun than we had when we were together we can talk about anything and everything but most of all our daughter is happy because she now sees her dad often and he is finally contributing to her life. He really seems to have changed. I've been very open about the situation and told him that I am not ready to be in another relationship and I will just take one day at a time. I'm very weary of all men because I dont want to be hurt again. It took me six months of tears, depression and introspection to get to the point where I look at the world and smile and I can now say that I'm happy. I've learnt to depend on me and me alone. Now he has come back and I dont know if I want him to be in my life at all, he is talking about the future and it does not interest me at all, he even commented that I seem to distant toward him. He is the father of my child and I will always respect him even if he hurt me he was always a good father, but i cannot see myself with him again in a committed relationship. I cannot see myself with any man for that matter I just want to concentrate on my life and go out and get what I want and not have to care about what another person says. I can see that he is expecting more but how do I tell him without hurting is feelings. He really has changed.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It does sound ominously as though, despite the current fun, you are indeed opening yourself up to further hurt with him. You ARE in a relationship with him. And how can you be sure that he has really and consistently changed ?

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