advertisement
Question
Posted by: KAT | 2010-01-08

Miscarrage!!!

its been 5 days since it happened and i still dont know how to feel, i cryed when i came back from surgery and i asked the doctor if my baby was ok, and she shook her head and said sorry. i cryed like never b4, i wanted to go home right away and she advised me to stay for the nite.
but i couldn' t, and now, my five yr old daughter is with my mother cause i dont know what to tell her she was as excited as me and my husbabnd for this baby.

i know when she comes back she will want to touch my tummy and ask me where the baby is, what will i tell her?????
i honestly dont know how to feel, on the other hand i' m glad that it happend sooner than later, but at the same time i hate myself for feeling like that..

I' m Lucky cause hubby is there to take all my s***t that i throw at him.. and he seems to understand.

now the doctor says that we can try again, but i dont think i can go thruogh that agai, because they dont know y my baby suddently died in my tummy at 8 weeks..

my heart bleeds cause we hv been bettling for 3yrs to concieve this baby and now it was a short lived happiness.

what should i feel, or how should i feel???

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

So sorry to hear about this, KAT. You feel how you feel - there's no popint in making yourself feel worse by blaming yourself for feeling the way you naturally are reacting.
As for the child, there's really no alternative to calmly and gently telling her what did happen, and that such things sadly do happen at times and its nobody's fault. You can't tell her nothing - her imagination would fill in the blanks with something worse than the truth.
Your feelings are normal and understandable, and may change in various ways, all normal.
Don't decide right away about whether or no to eventually try for another pregnancy - let yourself recover emotionally from this one before considering such options or rejecting them

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Racoon | 2010-01-11

Hi Kat

please don' t despair!! I had 2 early miscarriages, followed by D& Cs and fell pregnant straight away after both. My sons are now 1 and 4 years old. It is a shock, but once you start talking to people, you' ll find that almost everyone has had an early miscarriage. My gynae doesn' t even recognize a pregnancy before 12 weeks. Its a horrible experience, but can' t be changed and the embryo can' t be saved. As Liza said - its not you fault or anything you did wrong. Mostly, the embryo' s ' programming'  wasn' t correct so it wasn' t viable. Best of luck for the scrape - its not too bad at all. And ofcourse for your new pregnancy!

Reply to Racoon
Posted by: KAT | 2010-01-09

WOW thank u... just what i neede to hear... xoxoxo

Reply to KAT
Posted by: Liza | 2010-01-09

I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 1999. It took me 2 years to get pregnant and then the miscarriage. I took the doc' s advice and guess what? I got pregnant IMMEDIATELY again. I didn' t even have a period inbetween. The scrape that they do when you have a miscarriage, makes it very easy to get pregnant again.

My son is now 9 years old and an utter delight. The miscarriage doesn' t make me sad anymore, because if I didn' t have it, I wouldn' t have this wonderful boy. And I have to brag, he came first in his grade - he got top marks for every single subject. How can a mom not be proud of that :)

Although I have to say that I wasn' t afraid to try again. I already had a son who proved that I could have a successful pregnancy. And yes - I was also relieved that the miscarriage happened sooner rather than later. It' s a perfectly normal reaction. Another thing my doc told me was that most miscarriages at this time is because there is something wrong with the embryo. Not because I did something wrong. It could be as simple as the embryo didn' t attach to the uterine wall properly and couldn' t get enough sustenance - absolutely nobody' s fault and it could not be prevented. But the chances of it happening again are VERY slim.

So go see a counselor to get your mind in the right space again and then if you conceive again - enjoy your pregnancy.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-08

So sorry to hear about this, KAT. You feel how you feel - there's no popint in making yourself feel worse by blaming yourself for feeling the way you naturally are reacting.
As for the child, there's really no alternative to calmly and gently telling her what did happen, and that such things sadly do happen at times and its nobody's fault. You can't tell her nothing - her imagination would fill in the blanks with something worse than the truth.
Your feelings are normal and understandable, and may change in various ways, all normal.
Don't decide right away about whether or no to eventually try for another pregnancy - let yourself recover emotionally from this one before considering such options or rejecting them

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement