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Question
Posted by: Confused Man | 2011/08/12

Minefield

My problem, I''m in a long term relationship, 4 years and for the last 6 months sex has become a minefield. We use to have great sex, foreplay exploring every thing. Lately this has all changed, if we have sex once a month then its a good month and when we have sex I have to be careful with everything. I use to be able to go down on my GF and she loved to do the same but now all of a sudden it makes her feel dirty, she use to be relaxed and we use to have fun. I don''t look forward to sex and I don''t go to bed or anywhere for that matter with the expectation that we might even be passionate. Is it possible to turn around and fix it or is there a point of no return? I love her and I have wanted to marry her from the start of our relationship but I do not want to be in a marriage without passion.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This must be difficult for you. Did you discuss your concerns with her? Communication is always the best place to start. If that does not work, counseling. Sometimes a relationship can go through a tough time,but if both the parties work at it, it can be resolved.You can consult a psychologist or phone SASHA helpline (0860 100 262) for a referral list for practitioners in your area. Deidre - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Benny Boy | 2011/08/13

Exactly what I was thinking right off, that she''s having an affair. It seems you don''t know the cause and she''s not telling, which is another indication that she''s getting it from somewhere else. But it could be something entirely different, too, for all we know. Like the expert said, try counselling, etc.

Reply to Benny Boy
Posted by: Realist | 2011/08/12

Yes, one of 2 things. Either she is getting it elsewhere or she has " found"  religion. Both are real killers in the sex department. All the talk about stress etc does not hold water. People do not suddenly find what was fun and great to be dirty or unpleasant. She has issues with YOU. I would get out of the relationship pretty damn quick and link up with someone who will appreciate your talents. No matter what you do, its going to just keep on going downhill ! Marriage to someone l ike that is also headed for disaster.

Reply to Realist
Posted by: jim | 2011/08/12

Sounds like you have just got married. No matter how good itwas before you get married get uused to how it will be once she gets a ring

Reply to jim
Posted by: XXX | 2011/08/12

If you read this forum for long enough you will note that a lot of people are in the same boat as you ! If we had a magic solution we could all be much more wealthy and satisfied.
Is your partner possibly overweight/under a lot of stress/on certain anti depressant meds/uses alcohol a lot etc etc.Any of these factors could be the problem !
The sooner men and women realize that sex is a major part of a relationship the better (and a lot less divorces will occur).

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Bio | 2011/08/12

Agree, she is getting it somewhere else.

Reply to Bio
Posted by: Manwood | 2011/08/12

She''s having an affair...

Reply to Manwood
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/08/12

This must be difficult for you. Did you discuss your concerns with her? Communication is always the best place to start. If that does not work, counseling. Sometimes a relationship can go through a tough time,but if both the parties work at it, it can be resolved.You can consult a psychologist or phone SASHA helpline (0860 100 262) for a referral list for practitioners in your area. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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