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Question
Posted by: The sons wife | 2010/04/02

Mil is one side minded

My mil bad mouthed my dh a few months ago to me. I stood up for him then and there and then i went home. I told dh what she said and he confronted her. Since then we have not gone to see them and she apparently is bad mouthing me. She is still so stubborn to admit that saying that ''he doesnt see the sun over others'' is bad mouthing him. What do i do because i dont want to make amends until she apologises to both of us, treats us both with respect and treats our children with love and care becos she doesnt

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If, apart from a speciic occasion when particularly provoked, some one gets to routinely bad-mouthing you, your husband or anyone, dump them - such fountains of negativity don't deserve to be visited or valued.
If you have any direct contact with her just make it clear that nobody in your family appreciates her unkind attitudes and lack of respect, and that you folks won't be seeing her until she is ready to show you appropriate respect. Other family members can convey that message. Don't give her the power to cause so much misery

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/03

If, apart from a speciic occasion when particularly provoked, some one gets to routinely bad-mouthing you, your husband or anyone, dump them - such fountains of negativity don't deserve to be visited or valued.
If you have any direct contact with her just make it clear that nobody in your family appreciates her unkind attitudes and lack of respect, and that you folks won't be seeing her until she is ready to show you appropriate respect. Other family members can convey that message. Don't give her the power to cause so much misery

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: The sons wife | 2010/04/02

Thanks Maria. He also doesnt want to see them again but its difficult when they stay down the road and his brothers and sister close by too. i dont mind at all not going there but i am also not used to families fighting as my family is very close. This upsets me to a point that it takes over my life. Why do we (dh, kids and I) not mean anything to her

Reply to The sons wife
Posted by: Maria | 2010/04/02

What would you husband like to do? Does he want to mend the relationship? It''s his mother and he should have a rather big say in this. If he feels the same way you do then let the situation be and live your lives without her.

Reply to Maria

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