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Question
Posted by: Anon1 | 2012/06/29

Midweek away

I am confused. My wife hasn''t given me some sex for about two years and I know or suspect she doesn''t even love me anymore, yet she wants to go away to a nice cosy place for a midweek break!!

I don''t feel to comfortable because I do not know why we have to take a break!! I am to scared to suggest that it could be a naughty break!! I am so scared of rejection for how long now!!

How do i interpred this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

For many people love and sex are very closely connected, for some folks there seems to be little connection. If she wants you to pay for the break, its up to you whether to agree, and to make it very clear what sort of break you would prefer.
But what most worries me about your message is the sense that the pair of you really done communicate at all, you are not talking about what concerns you both. She has apparently withdrawn from sex with you for years now, and you don't know why - apparently you have never, even gently, discussed this with her ? Have you ever, again gently, told her how you are very naturally bothered by the withdrawl from sex, and worry about whether she loves you at all ? Maybe her idea behind suggesting the break away, is to be able to talk with you, and maybe explore resuming sexual activity.
Maybe it'd be better to suggest, as a first step towards making such a break-away maximally enjoyable for both of you, that you see a marriage counsellor together and work on understanding each other better, and fixing whatever needs to be fixed ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/29

For many people love and sex are very closely connected, for some folks there seems to be little connection. If she wants you to pay for the break, its up to you whether to agree, and to make it very clear what sort of break you would prefer.
But what most worries me about your message is the sense that the pair of you really done communicate at all, you are not talking about what concerns you both. She has apparently withdrawn from sex with you for years now, and you don't know why - apparently you have never, even gently, discussed this with her ? Have you ever, again gently, told her how you are very naturally bothered by the withdrawl from sex, and worry about whether she loves you at all ? Maybe her idea behind suggesting the break away, is to be able to talk with you, and maybe explore resuming sexual activity.
Maybe it'd be better to suggest, as a first step towards making such a break-away maximally enjoyable for both of you, that you see a marriage counsellor together and work on understanding each other better, and fixing whatever needs to be fixed ?

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