Our expert says:
Hi, Thanks for your observations.
I suspect the actual hardware varies, but the idea of trying to recapture either a youth you miss or one you wish you'd actually had, probably holds.
I think folks over 40 under-estimate how irrelevant they may seem to the kids, and the kids under-estimate how relevant their elders are.
And many of us, at all ages, have a false sense of how eternally cool our current fashions are. I have visions of hordes of old folks, when these kids grow up, finding their wrinkled tattoes and droopy body metal rather nasty, but hard to get rid of. it's easier to change one's mind than one's body. He's in touch with the kids that were, not those that are.
He's a problem drinker, and with a family history like his, alcoholism would be highly likely without a special effort to avoid it.
Remember the evidence on state-dependent learning, which means that the sober alcoholic probably genuinely can't remember how awfully he behaved when drunk, so can't so easily understand other people's concerns. Sometimes it helps for someone to video or audio-record their drunk behaviour for them to see when sober.
And isn't it dramatic how easily alcoholics find reasons to convince themselves they don't have a problem with booze ? Many alcoholics hold down brilliant and high-level jobs - for a while. But they're like the heavy smokers who were found in one research project to be unafected by an anti-smoking film showing over-glowing ashtrays and then lung cancer - they were content that because they kept their ashtrays tidy, they wouldn't get the lung cancer preducted for them
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