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Posted by: sick | 2010/09/25

messed up my life

Have been involved in a relatiionship for two years.I''m muslim she hindu.told our parents in july.my parents not happy and we decided to not continue our relationship.this week I find out she might be pregnant.we had non penetrative sex in the first week July and I came over her vagina.my mom has been ill since the time I told ny parents of the relationship.today my dad says I''m the course of my moms sickness and health.I don''t know what to do as I still need to tell my parents she cud be pregnant.my mind is all over the place.don''t know what to do can''t eat can''t sleep.feel like I''ve lost evrything including losing my family.please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

From the sound of it, pregnancy is possible, though not likely - it is essential to arrange for proper pregnancy testing. A home pregnancy test is a reasonably accurate first step, but the result, positive or negative, should be checked at a clinic by proper tests.
Only when you know for sure whether she is pregnant, can you, between you, plan what to do next. Deal with the facts, not only with fears.
Maybe it's not hel[pful to tell pour parents that she MIGHT be pregnant - if she IS pregnant, they will need to know, and you will need to plan, with her, what to do.
And though your mom might not like the idea of your having an affair with someone of a different religion, that sort of upset does not cause illness in her. Either she has a real illness with some different cause, or her "illness" is a representation of her distress - and its not uncommon in situations like these, for a mother to use her complaints of ill-health to make you feel extra guilty, and to push you to comply with her wishes.
If she is pregnant, see a counsellor together, to examine your options and choose what is best for yourselves and the child.
If she is not pregnant, and, indeed, even if she is, then you must both urgently learn all about birth control and how to avoid pregnancy until you are in a stable relationship and ready to lovingly raise children. And whatever your romantic relationship, abstinence is still a most excellent policy.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/26

From the sound of it, pregnancy is possible, though not likely - it is essential to arrange for proper pregnancy testing. A home pregnancy test is a reasonably accurate first step, but the result, positive or negative, should be checked at a clinic by proper tests.
Only when you know for sure whether she is pregnant, can you, between you, plan what to do next. Deal with the facts, not only with fears.
Maybe it's not hel[pful to tell pour parents that she MIGHT be pregnant - if she IS pregnant, they will need to know, and you will need to plan, with her, what to do.
And though your mom might not like the idea of your having an affair with someone of a different religion, that sort of upset does not cause illness in her. Either she has a real illness with some different cause, or her "illness" is a representation of her distress - and its not uncommon in situations like these, for a mother to use her complaints of ill-health to make you feel extra guilty, and to push you to comply with her wishes.
If she is pregnant, see a counsellor together, to examine your options and choose what is best for yourselves and the child.
If she is not pregnant, and, indeed, even if she is, then you must both urgently learn all about birth control and how to avoid pregnancy until you are in a stable relationship and ready to lovingly raise children. And whatever your romantic relationship, abstinence is still a most excellent policy.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2010/09/25

First find out if she is pregnant. If she isn''t, go educate yourself about effective birth control measures. (Abstinence is the only one that is really fool proof.)

If she is pregnant then your first responsibility is towards the girl and the new little life you helped to create. BUT don''t worry about that until you know for a fact she is pregnant. Home pregnancy tests are fairly accurate but she must go for a blood test to make sure.

Reply to Maria

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