Our expert says:
How do you manage to so carefully select losers who will ctreate havoc in your life, each time ?
And what was the point of getting a restraining order, and then failing to use it to restrain him ? You did NOT need to allow him back into your life, and you don't need to keep him there, and you dont need to keep imagining that its somehow your responsibility to solve the problems he creates for himself, as well as those he always creates for you.
Bravo if you can keep to yopur new resolution that the new place will be a place of refuge SOLELY for you alone, and not for the gormless of the world.
Anyone who takes advantage of you in the way you descibe him as doing, is vile. Tell him you've relented too often, and you will now put the restraining order back in place and ruthlessly enforce it. Let him be gormless, you be ruthless. Have the police remove him and arrestbhim every single time he arrives at your place ( I hope you haven't told him where the new place is ) or contacts you. And make sure the Restraining order is suitably renewed and extended and revised.
I cannot understand how any pychologist should have encouraged you to continue to indulge this guy or to let the restraining order go - that's simply really bad advice, and potentially dangerous advice.
He is continuing to exploit you, and to persuade you that it is your fault when he misbehaves, ruinds your health, and encourages you to act against your own best interests. So long as you continue to allow him in your life, in any role whatever, we really have nothing more to talk about
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