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Question
Posted by: Seahorse | 2010/04/21

Men looking at other women

My partner likes looking at other women and although I know he will never cheat on me, it is a irritating and unneccerrary habit to me. Whenever we''re in a public place, there never ever goes a moment by that he will look at women passing by and more beautiful they are the longer he will look. I talked to him about it and he said that he is just a normal guy and everybody looks! Just a glance is quite normal to me but to notice every little movement the girl at the table next to you might make, is a bit too much. Am I just insecure? He also has the habit of looking a person (guy or girl) intensely up and down while talking to them in such a way they really start to feel uncomfortable. One women passed a comment of how uncomfortable she felt to a good friend of mine.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Don't many women also look at other women ( at their outfit, hairdo, whatever ) ? Men tend to be lookers, without necessarily any sinister or cheating-aimed intentions. Now, the fact that he often looks at men and women, in conversation, to the point that they feel uncomfortable, is worth discussing calmly with him - he surely doesn't intend to have that effect, and might like to plan to modify this habit, to his benefit as well as that of others

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Our users say:
Posted by: jojo | 2010/04/23

I hv had a similar experience with my g/f. At the mall, at robots etc till i mentioned hw it made me feel. I asked myself why coz i never thought that she would cheat on me. What continously motivates someone to keep on looking at the good ones if they are not going to get them ? I later found out mine was cheating with a handsome guy, the type that she used to stare.
Its a confusing world we live in

Reply to jojo
Posted by: Me too | 2010/04/22

Same applies to my man, even when he drives, I get so annoyed and never said a word to him, I am not too sure what is it he is looking at. I decided to look at men as well sooner, once he comments, I will open a can of worms. But with the ugly onces he doesn''t look.

Reply to Me too
Posted by: XXX | 2010/04/22

I tend to agree with you,a side glance is fine but to actually stare is another matter.
Why not stare at men and see how he feels

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Daneel | 2010/04/22

Sorry to ask this but according to you are your pretty? I am sure that you are. Listen I was there too and know how embarassing it is. He never used to stare but just even if I caught him taking a peek I would be mad! We used to argue everytime we come from a place like the mall. The fact is, that all around there are beautiful woman and whether you like it or not, if you look at her and you are a woman obv he WILL look. This is one of the things in life that you cant change. Its like complaining in winter that there are no summer days like 35 degrees??? the more it bothers you the more he will do it. It is easier said than done. I still complain but not as much cause I am an attractive woman too and when he noticed that I dont care and caught some men looking at me after my insecurities, he does not do it as much. When we ride pasted woman I politely pass his shades to that they at least cant see him looking. Good luck. Love yourself and automatically problems like these will dissapear!

Reply to Daneel
Posted by: James | 2010/04/22

I suppose you dont look either??

Reply to James
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/04/22

Don't many women also look at other women ( at their outfit, hairdo, whatever ) ? Men tend to be lookers, without necessarily any sinister or cheating-aimed intentions. Now, the fact that he often looks at men and women, in conversation, to the point that they feel uncomfortable, is worth discussing calmly with him - he surely doesn't intend to have that effect, and might like to plan to modify this habit, to his benefit as well as that of others

Reply to cybershrink

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