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Question
Posted by: Neglect | 2011/07/18

Maybe I am neglecting my daughter

I have a 12 year old and dating this man who has a 6 year old daughter. The daughter came and visit over the weekend and my daughter went to her friend’ s birthday party cause she was invited and she couldn’ t cancel and I drove her there and it was a sleepover party. Yesterday I went to fetch her and we talked about the party how much she had fun. And I told her that we ( me , my boyfriend and his daughter ) went to see some movies and her respond was HMM IF I WAS HERE YOU COULDN’ T HAVE GONE. And she did not look happy about it. I was a bit disappointed and caught in between.
When it was time to sleep I went to her room and asked her if she feels like I am neglecting her or if she feels as though someone is taking her own place in me and she said she did not mean what she said it was just a joke. I hold her and assured her that no one will never take her space in my life. I am not sure if what she said was just a joke or if for some reason she feels like I am neglecting her. We always go out together ME HER AND THE MAN IN MY LIFE. Two weeks ago we all went out together ( Me, My boyfriend and his daughter ) the girls decided that they want to watch the movie together and we left them at the cinema and wait for them around the mall till the movie is finished. I feel bad I feel like maybe I am neglecting my child and I don’ t know what to do her statement is worrying me. Please help

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe you're a bit too anxious about this ? Maybe its so important to you that everyone get along well, that this prety small remark and incident is looming rather larger in your mind than it needs to do ? There sounds to be no real reason to imagine that you are neglecting her, or even for her to wonder if you are. Its actually important not to inflate a child's expectations of the amount of attention they should expect, or real life and later life will feel like they're being cheated of a level of attention none of us deserve or ever get !.
Relax. You are NOT neglecting her !

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/07/18

Maybe you're a bit too anxious about this ? Maybe its so important to you that everyone get along well, that this prety small remark and incident is looming rather larger in your mind than it needs to do ? There sounds to be no real reason to imagine that you are neglecting her, or even for her to wonder if you are. Its actually important not to inflate a child's expectations of the amount of attention they should expect, or real life and later life will feel like they're being cheated of a level of attention none of us deserve or ever get !.
Relax. You are NOT neglecting her !

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