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Question
Posted by: BB | 2011/06/26

Mastrubation Obsession

My husband has an obsession with mastrubation and I think porn as well. He was circumcised when he was about 4, I don''t know for what reason and he was repeatedly molested when he was about 12. I have a feeling that the fact that he was circumcised also has a influence. He knows that it is a problem and creates issues about other things to avoid the actual problem. He has been to a shrink but it is not doing anything. What can I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The circumcision probably doesn't have anything to do with it. Most kids, and adults, of both sexes, masturbate, some, obviously, more than others. When masturbation in an adult becomes less a part of their sex life and more a substitute for ordinary sex and relationships with other live humans, it can be a problem. Similarly, many people are interested in porn ( just as they may be interested in video-games, but again, when it becomes a substitute for other wholesome activities and aspects of life, and becomes more obsessive and solitary and all-consuming, it reflects a problem.
Fortunately, some who are abused as children seem not to be seriously affected by it ( human resilience is remarkable ) some people are indeed troubled by it in a lasting way, and should receive appropriate professional help in therapy to work through this experience and get beyond it.
I wonder why the shrink he saw wasn't able to help. Maybe he didn't frankly tell the shrink all about these problems, and didn't actually ask for the help he needed ; maybe it was one of those unfortunate shrinks who think entirely in terms of medications, where these are not problems where medications as such as likely to be able to help. Maybe a second opinion would be wise, with a shrink known for psychotherapy rather than drug therapy, and with your husband writing out a frank description of his problems to take with him, to ensure this shrink is properly informed of what needs to be explored and dealt with

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/26

The circumcision probably doesn't have anything to do with it. Most kids, and adults, of both sexes, masturbate, some, obviously, more than others. When masturbation in an adult becomes less a part of their sex life and more a substitute for ordinary sex and relationships with other live humans, it can be a problem. Similarly, many people are interested in porn ( just as they may be interested in video-games, but again, when it becomes a substitute for other wholesome activities and aspects of life, and becomes more obsessive and solitary and all-consuming, it reflects a problem.
Fortunately, some who are abused as children seem not to be seriously affected by it ( human resilience is remarkable ) some people are indeed troubled by it in a lasting way, and should receive appropriate professional help in therapy to work through this experience and get beyond it.
I wonder why the shrink he saw wasn't able to help. Maybe he didn't frankly tell the shrink all about these problems, and didn't actually ask for the help he needed ; maybe it was one of those unfortunate shrinks who think entirely in terms of medications, where these are not problems where medications as such as likely to be able to help. Maybe a second opinion would be wise, with a shrink known for psychotherapy rather than drug therapy, and with your husband writing out a frank description of his problems to take with him, to ensure this shrink is properly informed of what needs to be explored and dealt with

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