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Question
Posted by: UM | 2008/10/29

Marry for love or money?

Long story short:

The ex and I were together for 3 years, 8 months of which we were engaged 

After a rocky relationship I eventually left him 

Met someone new, got engaged, got pregnant and the someone new left me 

The ex is still in the picture after many months of talking and supporting etc.

I know he would want to get married if I allow him to get close enough. Don' t get me wrong, in a way I do love him, not the way I used to.. But I know he would take good care of me, he' s very successful. We' ll be good to each other.

I do stress about the way he' ll treat my child, how his family will feel about the marriage, whether my family will accept it. (A lot has happened)

Somedays I think it' s a brilliant idea, other days I feel I have to give it more time.

What do you think?

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Our expert says:
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Maybe see a counsellor to be able to discuss these issues in detail, and be better able to make a good decision

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Our users say:
Posted by: UM | 2008/10/30

Thanks for the replies.

Anon - I will take it very slow. I am very okay with being a single parent, but sometimes I think that maybe I' m supposed to be with this man, we' ve got a very strong connection and we' ve managed to work out some of our issues. Even though my emotions are all over the place, I still feel that there is love.

Things happen for a reason, maybe that' s why I had to leave him, meet someone new and fall pregnant, so he could once and for all open his eyes and decide what he wants. He seem to have decided that he wants to be with me no matter what.

Still, I also have my child' s happiness to consider, so I' ll take my time.

Reply to UM
Posted by: anon | 2008/10/30

marriage is very hard work so you would need to really love that person to put up with all that happens in a marriage. that said your ex sounds like a good and decent guy and you do seem to have feelings for him so why dont you take things slow... you dont have to rush into marriage. start your relationship from scratch and see where it leads you.

remember a single parent is not the end of the world. it is better than a child having to suffer through a divorce and " losing"  a family and full time father

Reply to anon
Posted by: Me too | 2008/10/29

I also married my husband for love.We manage life just like any other ppl,but mostly we love and adore each other.He was my 1st,we always remind each other abt how we had sex on the river bank and on the mountain.He always told me that his mothers house is not his,one day we will have our own house and bed to do all this things.

Today we have our own house,and we do it eeyywhere.Money can buy u the world,but not love and happiness.Im happy with my man with the little we have.

Reply to Me too
Posted by: Happily Married | 2008/10/29

I married for love. My husband and I live comfortably. We don' t have all the things we want, but we are ok. We are slowly but surely working on the things we want to have.

Money can buy you so many things, it can make all your dreams come true. But it will be very hollow and empty feeling if you don' t have that special person you love and who loves you to share it with.

I often tease my husband and say I will marry for money next time, but the truth is, I won' t swop him for any amount of money in the world.

Reply to Happily Married

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