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Question
Posted by: Jason | 2011/06/28

Married women and single men

I need a bit of advice here please!

Two days ago, a married female friend of mine asked me whether I could dance and if I would accompany her to a wedding in a few weeks time. Apparently her husband will be working that weekend and she wants to go.

Although her husband knows about her asking me, I feel somewhat uncomfortable about it. All 3 of us are good friends, and she and I get along quite well.

To make matters worse, they are having marriage problems and she has confided in me that she is seriously considering a divorce.

Any single guys out there who have been in a similar spot?

What did you do?

Any advice is appreciated, thanks!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you are all friends, why not call the husband and check how he feels about this invitation ? Why don't they go to the wedding, and bring you as a friend and surrogate dancer ? Romany is right about the need to be cautious about getting pulled in as a third person having to choose sides between two friends of yours

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Laurei | 2011/06/28

Drawing from experience, a married party usually looking for a " shoulder to cry on"  is usually also looking to latch on to you as they are unable to sort out their marital problems. Be careful, coz when they kiss and make up, you are out in the cold or if she leaves him, everyone will blame you, especially the kids if there are any...
Its so easy to look for alternatives outside a marriage, and shows a lack of committment and maturity of the party who is doing so. Imagine, if you were her husband, would you feel comfortable if your wife is discussing your marriage with your male friend/s?

Reply to Laurei
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/28

Hi Jason, I am not a " single guy" , but I will seriously advise you NOT to go. Alli s good if the hubby is also there, but do not get yourself involved in this. It is inevitable...one thing always leads to another.

Also, don''t become the person she confides in about wanting to get divorced etc, This involves you on a dangerous level, especially since you are friends with the hubby as well.

At some point you will be required to " choose sides"  and believe me, you do not want to do that. Find a nice SINGLE lady and enjoy.

Once married, it gets very complicated with a third wheel on the wagon.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/28

If you are all friends, why not call the husband and check how he feels about this invitation ? Why don't they go to the wedding, and bring you as a friend and surrogate dancer ? Romany is right about the need to be cautious about getting pulled in as a third person having to choose sides between two friends of yours

Reply to cybershrink

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