Posted by: Lala | 2009-07-17

Married man - Aftermath

Hi all

I have been emotionally and sexually with a married man for 3 years. We are friends and one day we slept with each other and never stopped. He has been having problems in his marriage and i guess i comforted him.I had just left an unfulfilled relationship and found myself being " taken care of"  by this man. Now i want out!!! I feel my life is stagnating. I am not dating other guys as i see them as not good enough. I know what i did was wrong,it was a great mistake and i regret it ever happening.

I have since broken it off with married man (5months now), and decreased communication a great deal. I hardly see him, i even moved away and live in a different country. But i miss him at times. I haven' t started dating yet.How does one move on from an affair situation?

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Our expert says:
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Maybe you comforted him ( which is not a useful thing to do when he SHOULD have been working with a marriage counsellor to solve the problems in his marriage ) and you may more likely have worsened those problems.
If you are still in contact with this guy, and "hardly see him" then you haven't truly broken it off, and this partial coninuation of the affair only makes it MORE uncomfortable for you to do what you know you need to do.
You're trying to break a habit, but this is the wrong way --- cold turkey is the only option here, combined with getting actiuvely involved in work, volunteer work, whaever will fruitfully occupy youi and leave you less time to sit around obsessing about him. Alcoholics don't recover by trying to stick tom one drink per day --- they need to STOP.

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Our users say:
Posted by: What?? | 2009-07-20

Pray for peace??? you mess up peoples marriages and now you PRAY????What goes around comes around...its only the beginning....MARRIAGE BREAKERS...NXA! you deserve whatever you are going through at the moment!

Reply to What??
Posted by: justme | 2009-07-18

hunny im kinda goin thro the same thing and the only thing u can do is pray pray for peace for love and hope thats the ONLY thing other than crying that helps but i find that helps more then crying n im not a religious person mind u but who ever u are u dont have to be weather u happen to be christian or watever religion just pray to who u pray to and that will bring u peace more than anything u will ever try trust me and god still lloves u no mata ur life or if ur na religious so ya ok well hope that helpeD!:) TAKE CARE KAY? AND DON FRET ITS NA WORTH IT SWEETIE.

Reply to justme

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