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Posted by: karien | 2011/01/10

MARRIED COUPLE AND SINGLE (girl) FRIEND

I am married and have this single friend. I have invited her to a few get togethers with my other married friends. All of the married girls say that she is a flirt and that they do not like her much. I always thought that they were maybe a little jelous because she was younger than them. The other day when we had a get together again this single friend was sitting on my husbands lap chatting and laughing as if it was the most normal thing in the world. My one friend came to me and said that it was unacceptable. Should I be worried about her. Maybe I am being to naive. I didn''t say a word because I didn''t want to make a scene. Can I just add she never brings a date to any get together...... Should I say something to her...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its not only that she is younger than them, but presumably less mature than them. Talk to her frankly and make it very clear that her flirting is unacceptable to you or your friends. To sit giggling on the lap of someone else's husband is not acceptable, and not clever. You are indeed being naive. She doesn't bring a date, presumably, because maybe her neediness and predatory styler puts off other men, and maybe because she wants to enjoy other women's men rather than using one of her own ? Remind her that it's not like borrowing a Kleenex when you need to wipe your nose.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Guy | 2011/01/10

The problem is compounded by the fact that us guys are suckers and fall for that sort of behavior, even though we know its wrong. I cannot imagine any guy telling a young person like that to " move it"  when she sits on his lap. We don''t do it maliciously, its just how us guys are when it comes to this sort of thing. I would definitely cut her out of your circle as it just MAY lead to something unpleasant if it continues. She''s a vamp !!

Reply to Guy
Posted by: Michelle | 2011/01/10

just mention to her is a mature manner that its not acceptable for her to do such things, also...ask your husban why he allowed it it the first place!? Women tend have blinkers on when thy feel threatend by other women

If she is immature like i know she is, she will remove herself from your life. she wont say she is sorry to you either. If she is mature, she will agree that it was wrong.

You married, you dont need that type of thing in your life... I would stay far away if I was you.

Reply to Michelle
Posted by: Karien | 2011/01/10

Thank you all so much, I really needed to hear this, been " blind"  for too long now:< )

Reply to Karien
Posted by: Mel | 2011/01/10

I agree with everyone else here. Hell no, she is gona make trouble, it is bound to happen, that''s life, do not bring temptation in your circle of friends or even in your house. I believe in get togethesr WITH MARRIED couples ONLY. Everyone is there with their partner.

Reply to Mel
Posted by: Me | 2011/01/10

Show her the door, and fast! Someone''s going to get her, and it won''t be her!

Reply to Me
Posted by: Bee | 2011/01/10

Sitting on your husband''s lap is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

Reply to Bee
Posted by: Carmen | 2011/01/10

Yes " get the hell off my husband''s lap"  ..... Seriously ... why would she not want to bring someone along? Are there too many other men at these functions? Maybe it will be best if you do not invite her to the get togethers as it may eventually cause a lot of unnecessary problems for all concerned especially since your friends think she is a flirt! It could all be very innocent, but on the other hand .... About the lap sitting, there is no reason why she should be on your husband''s lap, maybe you should tell her that you do not like it and will not tolerate it ... maybe it would be better not to invite her to these functions.

Reply to Carmen
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/10

Its not only that she is younger than them, but presumably less mature than them. Talk to her frankly and make it very clear that her flirting is unacceptable to you or your friends. To sit giggling on the lap of someone else's husband is not acceptable, and not clever. You are indeed being naive. She doesn't bring a date, presumably, because maybe her neediness and predatory styler puts off other men, and maybe because she wants to enjoy other women's men rather than using one of her own ? Remind her that it's not like borrowing a Kleenex when you need to wipe your nose.

Reply to cybershrink

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