Our expert says:
I wonder why you chose to re-contact your ex, if you are indeed happily married. That's a bit like picking at a scab, which worsens the eventual scar.
How and why, if he still claims to have special feelings for you, has he got engaged and fathered 3 kids by someone else ? I wonder what actually, each of you loves. It may well be that what you really "love" is the fantasy of how it might have been, what it may have become, rather than what is. The love you say you have for your husband and child is a real thing, about real people in a real situation. Stop entertaining these unreal fantasies. Simple tell your ex that each of you should have, and indeed have, moved on. You are happ and married and with a child and are devoted to them, not to him. What you have for him, perhaps, is a degree of afffection, or fondness, which is not good for any of you, to indulge in. Remind him of his three children and his duties to his fiancee. You can't go back to what might have been, and each have very significant current commitments. Say goodbye, fondly, bu firmly.
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