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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2011/06/12

Marriage problems.

I don''t even know where to start. I love my husband. Wait, do I? Lately, for some time now, he just annoys me. I don''t know why and I keep telling myself I am being petty. He''s a great guy. Does not stay out late drinking with buddy''s, helps with the kids, helps with the household chores, provides well for the family and the list goes on. So why then after 6 years of marriage do I want to run away!!!! He is driving me insane. Anything and everything he says I just find so irritating. Even his family has started driving me insane. I go out with them and I sit back and think WHAT WAS I THINKING. These people are so not me. They are just not my type and yet there was a time I was madly in love with him and thought his family was really great. I keep thinking once the kids have flown the nest which is about another 18 years away SIGH we will probably go our separate ways. Is it normal to just suddenly fall out of love with your husband? I do love him in a caring family way but I am not crazy about him anymore.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He sounds like the sort of guy a great many women wish they could find. From your own description, your irritation at him sounds not entirely rational, as though it arises primarily within you rather than with him. And you use extreme terms - not jus annoying or irritating, but Driving you INSANE !
It sounds as though there has been a change within you, a form of dissaisfaction with your way of life, maybe an attack of the mailgant Might Have Beens, that has become focussed on him, even if he isn't the cause of this. Seeing a personal counsellor to sort out what is happening within you, and what you actually want, and why things seem to have changed, would be useful.
Don't give up too soon, and for such insufficient reasons.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2011/06/13

I think you should set him free and allow hin to find someone that can tolerate him and his family and also love him.
There are many single women out there that would love to have him.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Bee-bee | 2011/06/13

Hi there... please send him to me when you are done with him  -) I have a husband that goes out and drinks with buddies and believe you me... you don''t want that.

Don''t you maybe need some space? like just go on a Sat and have a glass of wine with your girl friends.

Reply to Bee-bee
Posted by: Same | 2011/06/13

Are you guys always with " his family"  going out and visiting? Are they always involving themselves in your lives?

I went through the same thing and realized that my hubby only irritated me when he is around his family (and still does but unfortunately I cannot iliminate them entirely) when we out alone or with others all is good.

So cut down on time with them find fun things you guys can do on your own...

Reply to Same
Posted by: Realist | 2011/06/13

I think you feel as if you would like to break away and link up with I term a " bad ass"  Someone who is unconventional, a bit wild and reckless, you know someone like that out of control bad boy at school that you knew but were too timid to get involved with him and who had a brush with the law. Someone who would have no problem with you having a few tattoos and taking you to clubs. Its just a streak in you that needs to be assauged. BUT you would not last the pace. He would dump you at the drop of a hat and you would NEVER forgive yourself for behaving like that. Just forget about it and appreciate the man you have, boring as he may be, believe me, there are woman just lining up to take your place.

If however, the itch is too great, don''t ruin your life, your husbands life and those of your kids by " sticking it out"  Get a divorce, have someone scratch the itch and get on with that type of life. Dont hang around, you are wasting your husbands opportunity to link up with an appreciative lady

Reply to Realist
Posted by: Anonni | 2011/06/13

Good men like yours are hard to come by, so be very carefull of not pushing him away. It sounds more like there is something the matter with you than there is with him.

Love is a choice, you choose to be there for your husband, and hou choose to cherish and adore him.

Find ways to rekindle you relationship and bring back the in loveness. Do not even entertain going your separate ways, because what you think about will come to pass, and then you will be very sorry

Reply to Anonni
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/13

He sounds like the sort of guy a great many women wish they could find. From your own description, your irritation at him sounds not entirely rational, as though it arises primarily within you rather than with him. And you use extreme terms - not jus annoying or irritating, but Driving you INSANE !
It sounds as though there has been a change within you, a form of dissaisfaction with your way of life, maybe an attack of the mailgant Might Have Beens, that has become focussed on him, even if he isn't the cause of this. Seeing a personal counsellor to sort out what is happening within you, and what you actually want, and why things seem to have changed, would be useful.
Don't give up too soon, and for such insufficient reasons.

Reply to cybershrink

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