Posted by: Bipolar | 2008-11-04

Marriage problems

I would like some advice. I am 27 years old and I am married to a woman that is 44. We have been married for just more than 2years, during which we were seperated for 9 months, before trying again. The problem is that this trying again thing isnt working for me. I think I must look for somebody more my age and who I can have a future and children with.It just feels so unnormal to be married to somebody who could have been my mother and who' s children is almost as old as me.I am bipolar and I know that that is not an excuse but I needed somebody and she was the only one who stood by me. I have been hospitalised 6 times in a psychiatric clinic and the bipolar just doesnt want to get any better. What if I leave her and then nobody wants to be with me. Because If I have one of my episodes people run to the hills. What can I do???? Is it selfish to just want to be normal???? Because the bipolar doesnt make me feel normal and then the older woman thing makes me even feel more unnormal and feels unnatural

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Our expert says:
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Why have you been going so far as to separate forma time, without seeij=ng a mariage counsellor together ? Remember, marriage counselling isn't supposed to be glue, to force you to stay together, but to explore whether this would be the best option for you, and if not, to enable you tom part understanding yourselves and each other far better, and to be less likely to repeat these problems. The concerns you now raise about your age differences were surely just as pertinent when you married her ( the age gap hasn't actually increased ) --- why didn't it worry you then ? Don't remain together just for fear that nobody else might ever want to be with you --- someone else might well want to be with you.
See a counsellor together, to explore the situation, and to enable her to learn more gently, how you feel

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Our users say:
Posted by: Angel G | 2008-11-04

I' ve been married to a woman thats biploar for 20years. We' ve 1 teenage child. I' ve been strong along but it seems that my strenght' s going... I' m only 45 and feels like I' ve had " enough"  of life for I get watched 24hrs a day. I' ve never ever cheated on her as long as I know her. And when there are episods I always become the target. Sadly, bipolar patients always somehow lash out at the ones closest to them, even if they are innocent as can be. So it' s a 2way street when it comes to bipolar. Best of luck to the partners of bipolar sufferers.

Reply to Angel G
Posted by: B | 2008-11-04

Hi i am bi polar and i know the pain that comes with it. if it is any concern i would want to be with you and maybe you are being a bit heavy on the women because i would do anything for someone to be with me when i was admitted those couple of times. dont listen to the naieve people who say you looney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i get mad because you dont need eyes to see you need vision

Reply to B
Posted by: shiptoshore | 2008-11-04

its not your fault, just remember that ok

Reply to shiptoshore
Posted by: ME | 2008-11-04

Do at least one decent thing man, be honest to the poor lady and tell her what you feel before you broke her heart even more.

Reply to ME
Posted by: Ouch!! | 2008-11-04

Here we go again, old lady thing, actually it' s hard work living with one that has bipolor,I know I live with 1, secondly do you really want to bring children into this world with your sickness as it is more on the mental side.
I think you are selfish, the old lady fir to be your mother, what a nerve, she helped and looked after you, do you think a young lady will do so, I don' t think so mate!! she' ll admit you into a mental institution and move on.
I hate it when these men marry older woman, use them and then suddenly catch a wake up, she is too old.This is the same selfish prig that pasted the other day now we know why his complaining, his loony.

Reply to Ouch!!

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