Posted by: Neo | 2008-11-17

Marriage of Hell

We’ ve been together for 8 years and married for 2 years and had the wedding celebration last December. I paid for my own wedding with the help of my family.
He never contributed anything on the expenses and he kept on saying “  Eish you and your wedding”  during the arrangements. And he had about R15000 in his account but he drank it all without even buying his underpants.
He paid R1000 for the lobola and the other R2000 was paid on our wedding day.
As per our culture the wedding was suppose to take place in his mothers as well but they said they don’ t have money so it only happens in my mothers.
The morning of the wedding he went to his mothers place and my family and I were all scared that he might not come back and we all went Thanx God to see him back and he was very drunk.
I stay in Joburg and he is in Limpopo and I think the distance did save our marriage in a way because it was worse now.
There was no honeymoon
No money for me to come back to Joburg after the wedding
No phone calls from him after the wedding.

We stay in his mothers house and the mother does not want me.
I didn’ t go there for the past 2 months and I am not even sure if I want to go or want.
He once came to Joburg but told his family that he is going to visit a friend.

My family says I should forget about him and move on but I am not ready
It’ s been 3 years since I am in Jozi and he only came twice.
When I go to Limpopo I must always borrow money to come back and pay it back when i get paid.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You express yourself so well ! I hope h's bought some underpants by now. Sad that he saw it as "YOUR wedding", and thought drinking was mote important than helping. It really sounds as though he and his family seem to be trying to deny the fact of the marriage. He really hasn't provided you with anything of what any real man, in any culture, is expected to provide for his wife.
You know what you need to do --- he should be ashamed of himself ( and so should his family ) but they won't recognize their faults. You deserve so very much more than this. Leave him in the hell of his own making, and you rejoin the world and find someone who loves you.

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Our users say:
Posted by: took | 2008-11-18

Leave the b*stard

Reply to took
Posted by: Zeeeee | 2008-11-17

Where is your pride woman???????
You are a fool I don' t know what the hell are you doing with this man.
Get a life girlfriend you don' t need a man to have a life.
What is so special about this idiot that you can' t leave without him?

Reply to Zeeeee
Posted by: meme | 2008-11-17

Shame Neo. you must be going through hell. what kind of husband is that?

do u have a child with him? shuu he is so irresponsible and useless.leave him.his family is not even supportive. what the hell.

curse him and his family and start a new life. you wasted enough time and you can afford to waste anymore.

this is indeed marriage from hell.

Reply to meme
Posted by: Mantwa | 2008-11-17

Neo... Ausi. It feels like you know that you are not happy. Which basically tells me that you know what you want. So my deary - think and be logical about it. be honest to yourself and stop thinking with your heart. I know you know that you deserve so much better...
Stay Blessed &  Gud Luck!!!

Reply to Mantwa
Posted by: Sam | 2008-11-17

So why are you stil there?????

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Neo | 2008-11-17

The worse part is I know his girlfriend

Reply to Neo
Posted by: Anon | 2008-11-17

Why did you choose to marry a drunk!!!

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Me | 2008-11-17

You must be out of your mind for marrying this man. He doesn' t give a dam about you. LEAVE HIM NOW?? He' s useless.

Reply to Me
Posted by: Sam | 2008-11-17

Geez this is a marriage from hell. I don' t mean to offend anyone here, but with your culture, one thing I have learned about the men is that they cheat a lot - and their reasoning is " a man has needs" .

The chance of your husband cheating on you is probably very high, as you both live in different cities. And as he may be sleeping around, you should make sure you get yourself tested for STD' s.

It' s quite clear that he and his family do not love you...why put yourself through this? If your parents are giving their permission to leave him, why not take their advice? You will save yourself a lot of heartache.

Reply to Sam

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