Posted by: Anna | 2009-01-15

Marriage not good since day 1

Sine the day i got married, marriage was like hell especially from mother in law and sisters in law, there are many things hat happenned between me and hubby that they were part of like arguing , my love for them died the day i got into their home uhhhhhhhh, i don' t want to mention a lot here, it' s too much,

Now i can' t trust hubby the way he does things it' s like they tell him what to do so that i can leave, i even flushed my wedding rings because of his unfaithfulness.

i always tell him that we must divorce but he does not take that, how do i deal with such a situation.

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Our expert says:
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Its sad that mariage is so seldom between two people, than between 2 groups, some of whom, like your husband's relatives, behave badly and meanly and interfere. See a marriage counsellor with your husband, and sort out your relationship, and adopt a shared policy for dealing with the others who have been stirring things up between you.
If he won't do this, and continues to show more loyalty to them than to you, then indeed consider separation

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2009-01-15

Hi Anna,

I was in th same situation about 5 years ago, but the difference is that my mom in law and sister in law pretended to like me, while trying to turn my ex husband against me.

He used to discuss everything with them, and he saw nothing wrong with it. They even put pressure on him about us not having kids and in return he will make it seem like it was my fault. When i eventually fell pregnant, i miscarried due to stress, then he started cheating on me.

It came to a point where i realised how short life was, and i went back home and he filed for a divorce which i did not even contest. Three years later he came back apologising, telling me that he had finally seen that his family were behind all our problems because they were doing the same to his new wife, as a result he is no longer in speaking terma with them.

The thing is if your husband does not stand by you, if he does not put his family in their place where you and him are concerned, there is nothing you can do, that is a battle you can never win!

Good luck, you will need it.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Taneea | 2009-01-15

If you know that he' s unfaithful, why do you stay? This will erode your self-esteem to the point where you lose your soul.

Why don' t you file for divorce then - you have a lot of ground?

Reply to Taneea

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