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Question
Posted by: Anonymous | 2010/05/17

Marriage in trouble again

Hi, this weekend my husband hit again. It''s the first time since having moved back late last year. We''re expecting a baby later this year and our first born is also acting out of character. Do I move out and called it quits or do I stick it out for Better or Worse. He did attend a few anger management sessions but gave those up when things got better. I know that he''s stressed abouthis job and the new baby. everything bone in me says leave but I don''t want to make an emotional decision that will effect both my children in the long run.

Very confused. Please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't believe that "for better or worse" ever means one should accept abuse from a spouse. I understood it to refer to working together as life swings to the better or worse, not to accepting abuse.
Maybe he is stressed, but that is no excuse for abuse - its an indication of the need for proper counselling to learn to deal better with the stress rather than throwing the stress at other people.
STAYING with an abuser is bad for kids ; leaving an abuser does them no harm.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: Dr Phil | 2010/05/18

leave don''t waste anymore time with a woman hitter, they don''t change even if they go to church or anger management groups, get out of this relationship before you become a total wreck. The children will either see this happen and or learn to do the same when growing older. For better or for worse i am very certain for worse will end you in hospital or even death. There are many men out there who hit women and unfortunately the chance that they will change is maybe 3%.

Reply to Dr Phil
Posted by: XXX | 2010/05/17

Totally and utterly not acceptable,dump this jerk.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Phil | 2010/05/17

A man don''t hit a woman. Point. And a woman don''t hit her man. Point. It''s all about respect, if it isn''t there, it never will be?

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Anon | 2010/05/17

Thank you everyone for the advise. I will definitely be making plans to leave.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: form a guy | 2010/05/17

If you want to get hit for the rest of your life stay, if not go. No amount of stress at work or any other stress can justify him hitting you, It will not stop period!

Reply to form a guy
Posted by: Woman | 2010/05/17

leave now and don''t look back and don''t allow him to manipulate you into giving him another chance. It is clear that he won''t stop. Do you want your kids to see you with bruises, blue eyes, cut and in pain and have them think it''s a normal life? Where will you draw the line? broken bones? when he starts on the children? when you lie in hospital?

You have the power in you to make it stop. He does not have that power. He cannot and will not help himself.

Good luck whatever you choose!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/17

I don't believe that "for better or worse" ever means one should accept abuse from a spouse. I understood it to refer to working together as life swings to the better or worse, not to accepting abuse.
Maybe he is stressed, but that is no excuse for abuse - its an indication of the need for proper counselling to learn to deal better with the stress rather than throwing the stress at other people.
STAYING with an abuser is bad for kids ; leaving an abuser does them no harm.

Reply to cybershrink

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