Our expert says:
Andile this is usually a psychological block and is not easy to address unfortunately. There are a number of possible causes for this:
- you are used to more vigorous stimulation that is possible with vaginal penetration (if you can ejaculate when your g/f masturbates you, then this is likely to be the case)
- if you can't ejaculate at all with your girlfriend (i.e. even if she masturbates you - or you masturbate with her present) then it is likely that you are worried about your performance or anxious in some way or about something.
- if you can ejaculate with her stimulating you but just not during penetration then it could be that you are not used to the different sensation, that you are worrying about pregnancy or something else, or you are losing focus on your sensation and your arousal is lessening.
Try to have her masturbate you, or you masturbate with her present (kissing you, whatever) and see if you can ejaculate then. If not, pay attention to what is going through your mind that makes this different to when you are masturbating alone. This should begin to help you to identify what the specific cause is for you...feel free to post another question once you have checked this aspect out.
Claire - SASHA
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