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Question
Posted by: Nonkululeko | 2010/11/22

Man attacted to other women and not his wife

Good afternoon

I have just got married and after my wedding we bought a house and are now 2 years staying together, we have a 2 year old son. I dont know whether its the pressure that I get at house because I cant go out or do anything, during the day when I come back from work I have to cook and clean the house and on weekends its worse because I have a lot to do like washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning, and guess what I have such a stupid husband because I cant even wash during the day he calls me a magogo and tell me what kind of a woman am I, always dirty is this normal for a man to tell his wife such things I even thought maybe there is someone in his life who is not like me, I have decided to change my life totally please assist me so that I can keep him on what to do to attract him so that when he sees me he love me and not become attracted to other women.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Was that a marriage or a slavery agreement ? It doesn't sound as though this guy shows you any respect at all. Why should you do all the work in the house, as well as working and caring for the child. What does HE do, other than just enjoy himself ? It is NOT your fault if he is ignoring his duties to his wife and child, and feels "attracted" to other women ( Lord knows why they feel atracted to him ). It is not your duty to struggle to become more attractive to him. See a personal counsellor to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence, and help you plan to cope with this lazy, faithless, lousy and borderline abusive husband

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Our users say:
Posted by: Angel | 2010/11/23

Hi there. Work on your self confidence and start having fun and enjoying YOUR life and everything else will fall in place!!! Good luck!

Reply to Angel
Posted by: bet | 2010/11/23

if i were you, i would get a helper who would come on Saturday to clean the house and do the washing, they are really not expensive, and you get a chance to rest. as for ur good for nothing husband, you should tell him you are not a slave, and he should pull his weight and help around the house. and go pamper yourself and feel good. i hate men who treat women like their little slaves

Reply to bet
Posted by: Liza | 2010/11/22

Women who work a full day shouldn''t have to do all the household chores. That said however - saying that your husband is stupid because he says that you''re dirty isn''t going to solve any problems. This is the start of a tit-for-tat relationship where revenge is the biggest factor - instead of love.

What I also see as a problem, is that you want to change your life for him. If you truly want to change your life, you have to do it for yourself. Not for anyone else. If you change for someone else, you''ll have to keep on changing yourself for the rest of your life - subject to the whims of someone else! Eventually you''ll begin to resent it.

If you don''t want a divorce, you should seriously consider couples counseling. That way you can resolve your marital issues with an objective third party so that it doesn''t degenerate into name-calling and abuse.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Ginger | 2010/11/22

Does he help with u with the household chores?

Reply to Ginger
Posted by: Tumi | 2010/11/22

Please talk to him and let him know that the name calling kills you inside. you must change if YOU want to change not because you think he has someone else. again, tell him that maybe you can be clean if he helped you with the chores around the house.

Try having a bath and wear clean clothes and put on some light make up...clean your house looking beautiful and sexy

Reply to Tumi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/22

Was that a marriage or a slavery agreement ? It doesn't sound as though this guy shows you any respect at all. Why should you do all the work in the house, as well as working and caring for the child. What does HE do, other than just enjoy himself ? It is NOT your fault if he is ignoring his duties to his wife and child, and feels "attracted" to other women ( Lord knows why they feel atracted to him ). It is not your duty to struggle to become more attractive to him. See a personal counsellor to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence, and help you plan to cope with this lazy, faithless, lousy and borderline abusive husband

Reply to cybershrink

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