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Question
Posted by: anonymous | 2011-02-10

Male that wants to be a female

Hi

I have this problem. I have been going out with a good looking girl for 5 years, and I am happy being with her. I have however since I was about 14 wanted to be a woman. Throughout my teen years I crossdressed secretly whenever I got the chance. I really wanted to go onto hormone therapy, but I was too scared that I''ll lose the respect of everybody close to me. I actually get along very well with my family, and I didn''t want to hurt them. As a male, I tried to fit in, and did to a certain extent. I managed to hide my feeling from everyone. At times I would go into female mode for a week or two, but at the end of it, I''ll always try and shake it off, telling myself it''s madness. I read a lot of articles, and information about it, and thought that this is just a phase, and will pass. I am now 30 years old. These feelings still come forward very powerfully, and I spend a week or two at a time trying to get myself as feminine as possible. In female mode I feel attracted to males,but then I feel like a woman with a man, not a man with another man. In male mode I think that two males together look horrible, and I do not agree with it at all. I think females are much better looking than males. I however really wish that I could be a female. I have taken estrogen once or twice, but not steadily. I do wish to take it steadily. I have taken black cohosh, and red clover for a while, since I know that it is not as dangerous. I do all of these things secretely, as I''m too scared that I will lose everyone dear to me if they find out. I have tried my best to suppress these feelings, but they always come back strongly. As a male, other people don''t have a clue. I am not one of those wimpy type efiminate males. I do however have this secret urge to be a woman. I''ll probably need a lot of things done to make myself look at least ok as a woman though. I realize how crazy all of this is, but I cannot completely supress these urges. I do feel I fall under transgender. But I''m not sure whether it might be something like a split personality.. Any advice will be nice. I think I shouldv''e changed when I was still young, and did not have all these ugly male attributes...

Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTransgender advisor

Hi anonymous

Everything you are saying sounds so familiar. I could put my name in place of yours. The only question however that is concerning me is that at no time have you indicated that you are desperately unhappy as a man and that you will do anything in order to change you gender. Please don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling and it’s ok to want to explore your other self. The point is that before you can begin any form of gender reassignment, you will have to be evaluated by a psychologist of psychiatrist and one of the considerations they will have to make before recommending you for gender reassignment will be the absolute desire and need to change that you display.

I would recommend that you consider consulting with a psychologist or psychiatrist in any case. The truth we are discovering is that every person has different levels of gender expression and you should find a psych who can guide you into finding what is most appropriate for you.

If you would like us to recomend a psych please contact us via the Gender DynamiX website.

Caroline
Programmes Coordinator
Gender DynamiX

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2013-08-26

Hi! I am elderly gentle & sober male. I always like to be a woman. But I have been suppressing this strange & strong desire, as transition is very costly, involves social stigma & pain.Had I been in west, I would have ventured the change, by this time!But I am in a conservative society! Of late I have found my body getting feminized, on its own, without my doing any thing. Now, body hair vanished,body softened,skin softened, breasts formed. Now there has been an urge from inside, for bigger breasts, female face,female voice, female base( I mean, Vagina ) and long hair, so as to see myself a full woman! I would like to wear women's cloths, ornaments,bangles, ear rings,apply cosmetics and wear high heels!But I never tried! I am sure, you will advise me! There is a conflict between a strong desire and society & finances! I look for your mail.Readers also may advise me. LipStick@webname.com

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: anonymous | 2011-02-15

Thank you very much for the reply. I''ve always felt this need and desire to be a woman. I''d much rather be a woman than be a man. The point is that it is impossible to ignore these feelings. I''ve had to be a man all my life. I''ve been forced by society to be something that I feel I am not supposed to be. I''ve had to adapt because of this. I can probably adapt to anything if I''m forced to go through with it. I''ll just always feel that I want to be female. I''ll never be truly happy until I can express myself in the way that I know myself to be.

Reply to anonymous

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