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Question
Posted by: CONCERNED | 2010/07/01

MALE FRIEND

Would like to know if it is wrong for me to have coffee with a male friend that is old enough to be my farther becauese i enjoy his company and feel like i could talk to him about everything. I am a happy married woman and have no intentions of having an affair as i am still deeply in love with my husband. I met this friend through my sport that i am doing and now him for 3 years now. Is this the way how affairs normally started ( friendship). Sometimes this friend would give me innocent compliments which one hardly receive at home which make me feel good about myself. Their is no romantic attraction from my side and i feel that this friendship is innocent.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

My rule of thumb goes something like this...
If you would be just as comfortable with your husband there with the two of you, and would be happy for him to join this friendship, then I would suggest all is well and good. If on the other hand you feel you need to keep this secret and seperate, perhaps this is more than just friendship...?

Claire - SASHA

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Our users say:
Posted by: concerned | 2010/07/02

I would be comfortable if my husband join in the friendship. In fact i wish he would join my sport. I also dont beleive in having secrets for my husband as i do beleive in honesty in a marriage. My sport though is boring for him and he doesn''t share the same interest.

Reply to concerned
Posted by: Victim | 2010/07/02

He is waiting for you to make the first move and believe me you will regret it later. Remember new broom sweeps clean. He is saying those things to you now just to confuse you.I may not compliment my wife all the time, but that does not mean that I do not love her.YES..THATS HOW AFFAIRS START.

Reply to Victim
Posted by: Girly Girl | 2010/07/01

Has anyone seen the movie " When Harry Met Sally?:
I distinctly remember Harry stating, " Guys and girls can''t be just friends, the sex ALWAYS gets in the way" !
I am sure this older gentleman has enough friends, and hence isnt really looking for another friend.
I am sure your husband would not be happy with this, and the mere fact that you have sought advice, tells me that you know it too!
If your husband told you he was going for coffee with a young lady he met through his sport, would you be happy? I think not!
You know what to do!! :)

Reply to Girly Girl
Posted by: TT | 2010/07/01

The moment you have dought, it is wrong. Why do you ask, do you whant to put your self at eass. No man believe in just friendship, that only happens in movies.Yes affairs begin this way.

Reply to TT
Posted by: A Guy | 2010/07/01

No husband or boyfriend will be happy with his wife or girlfriend meeting other guys for coffee or anything else, and if you tell you just feel comfortable talking to him about anything it will be a slap in the face. A situation like this could cause a lot of damage in your marriage even if you have no attraction to this guy. I would be suprised if this guy just saw you as a nice women he chatted to, maybe that is the case but I''m sure to him he see''s you as a possible shag if he plays his cards right. You walking a very dangerous road in terms of your marriage

Reply to A Guy
Posted by: Man | 2010/07/01

Depends on what your friend sees in the relationship, and what would hubby think. I presume he is not aware of this. Men are hunters and your older freind might just interpret it as an invitation. Then again, it is the age of emancipated women. Go for it if you know you can keep the line drawn where you want it to be.

Reply to Man
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/07/01

My rule of thumb goes something like this...
If you would be just as comfortable with your husband there with the two of you, and would be happy for him to join this friendship, then I would suggest all is well and good. If on the other hand you feel you need to keep this secret and seperate, perhaps this is more than just friendship...?

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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