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Question
Posted by: Coco | 2012/05/24

Making myself happy

Hi there,

How do I make myself happy and where do I even start?

I have the reputation of ruining all the relationships that I am in (another one just went doen the drain), because I want the guy to make me happy. I know that he can''t, if I can''t make myself happy.

But how? I don''t even know if I was ever happy in my life before?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like a simple question with a simple answer, but it isn't. So much depends on who you are, how you live, and what you want and expect. What, FOR YOU, is "happy". Being happy is entirely your own responsibility, and it is never someone else's responsibility to make you happy. Its fair to expect someone else not to actively try to make you unhappy. See a psychotherapist / counsellor and sort out your own problems about understanding happiness ( maybe "content" is a better aim, nobody is "happy" all the time ) ; to set appropriate and realistic goals, and to learn how to find your own way towards them. Then, with more realistic expectations, you could start to look for more satisfying normal relationships, not burdened with excessive expectations.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/24

Sounds like a simple question with a simple answer, but it isn't. So much depends on who you are, how you live, and what you want and expect. What, FOR YOU, is "happy". Being happy is entirely your own responsibility, and it is never someone else's responsibility to make you happy. Its fair to expect someone else not to actively try to make you unhappy. See a psychotherapist / counsellor and sort out your own problems about understanding happiness ( maybe "content" is a better aim, nobody is "happy" all the time ) ; to set appropriate and realistic goals, and to learn how to find your own way towards them. Then, with more realistic expectations, you could start to look for more satisfying normal relationships, not burdened with excessive expectations.

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