advertisement
Question
Posted by: Dude | 2009/11/24

ma fat girlfriend

ey Doc..

hope u r well, it has been a while and the festive season is apon us... let me send u all the happies now...

so ya... i been going out with this girl for some time now, almost a year... when we first met, she was not physically attractive to me but had many qualities that i did admire and so I chose to see her as she did me...

over time, we had our differences, the norm good times, bad times, laughing etc...

when we first met she mentioned she was over weight and was going to loose it, I have a huge issue with weight and keep myself in shape big time, so I was patient and stressed out silently on ma own...

she eventually went on diet and lost some weight but gave up after a while, she' s not really fat, just out of shape, her old lady is obese... ma old man married a girl that turned out f*in huge and they don' t have sex for about 10 years now...

ma gf said she was going to turn into a bunny girl and go to gym etc which made me really excited cause I do love her but am finding it hard to be completely wowwed by her body...

so yes, its fickle, but this morn i asked her if she is eva going to get into shape, she is happy with her body even though she hides her bum from me all the time, I have no idea what it looks like after all this time... she got mad, packed her bags and left... so am a bit upset cause... she said she was in the process of dieting since i met her, I want to be attracted to her fully but can' t cause she has a fat-|-an big thighs and I keep maself in shape big time... so is it fair that she enjoys the fruits of ma hard labour and does not return the favour, and yes.... I know its fickle but such is life...

chicks are always on about super models and being skinny is not being a woman but the majority of those chicks want a lean guy with a sick pack and a huge c**ck right...

anyway... i put alot into this relationship, gave up drugs, going out with ma mates and all those hot young girls cause i wanted to be with this girl... in the end i question if I should have just moved on with no compromise or if I am yet to mature to a level of accepting people for who and how they are... thing is if you have a choice to be fat or not and know it will improve the relationship if you are in shape then why not get in shape for F* sake...

anyway... like I said... hope u well mate!

cheers
Dude

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dude ? How interesting to hear from you again! It's been quite a long time. Thanks for sending some happies - I'm about to go off to India for a couple of weeks, so they're just in time for me to pack 'em !
Fat is a powerful personal issue, especially to people who find it dificult to lose weight ( or easy to gain it ) and who enjoy life without feeling the need to be so trim and shapely - who enjoy being themselves as they are, rather than feeling they have to re-shape themselves to please someone else.
Imagine if she confided that she's deeply fond of you, but finds herself somewhat turned off by your being so muscular and toned, and would really enjoy it if you became more roly-poly and cuddly - would you really be happy to do that to yourself, for her ?
YOu speak of her "enjoying the fruits of your labour" - but that labour is something you do for YOU, not for her. You would do it even if she was not there at all ; she didn't ask for it, and did not make her love for you conditional on it. Being fat is not entirely a free and easy choice, for many people. Do you work out with her at the gym, and work together on enjoying a healthy diet ?
Now, as part of this relationship you DID do a number of things I'm sure she appreciates and yet which are also really beneficial for you - gave up the drugs, the youngsters, and the wild nights. It was surely time to make those changes anyway.
Recognizing all the good in her and appreciating that was a good sign of maturity in your relationships. It is part of a maturation that will make you a greater man, getting more toned and in-shape in your heart and mind, rather than only bodily.
I'm assuming it's a typo when you say most girls want a guy with a "sick pack". I do hope so !


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: shocked | 2009/11/25

OMW...indeed you are yet to mature..seems not only to a level of accepting people but more than that. When you truly love someone, the exterior does not matter. You love that person for what attracted you to them in the first place. I think she did the right thing by packing her things and getting the hell out!

Reply to shocked
Posted by: Woman | 2009/11/24

Why don' t you take her along on walks. If you climb up steep hills every week, she' ll lose that weight very quickly.

I have to say that the emphasis should not be on how you look at all. It should actually be about how healthy you are. You have tou have to admit that some of these gym bunnies might have great bod' s but their brains, priorities and faces are all of " low"  standard. You can' t maintain a healthy body if you' re not eating well and healthily. And mostly the guys with 6 packs are the ones on steriods, so no, genetic mutations for kids are not most women' s wet dream either, if you know what I' m saying..

I have had three kids and I weigh 56 kg on a 1.8 m frame. Ppl always ask me how I manage to look like i never had kids, and my answer is yoga. At least 5 hours a week. Great for the sex life too.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: L | 2009/11/24

You cant make someone to lose weight if they dont have detertmination or will to do so.

Maybe u are putting a little bit more pressure on her. Why not go to the Gym with her, and help or encourage her to make healthy meal choices?

I think its unfair on ur side to expect her to loose weight 4 u. She must loose weight for herself, not for u.

Reply to L
Posted by: Maria | 2009/11/24

Well done on giving up drugs. Even if you move on now you should be grateful to this girl if only for that.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/11/24

Dude ? How interesting to hear from you again! It's been quite a long time. Thanks for sending some happies - I'm about to go off to India for a couple of weeks, so they're just in time for me to pack 'em !
Fat is a powerful personal issue, especially to people who find it dificult to lose weight ( or easy to gain it ) and who enjoy life without feeling the need to be so trim and shapely - who enjoy being themselves as they are, rather than feeling they have to re-shape themselves to please someone else.
Imagine if she confided that she's deeply fond of you, but finds herself somewhat turned off by your being so muscular and toned, and would really enjoy it if you became more roly-poly and cuddly - would you really be happy to do that to yourself, for her ?
YOu speak of her "enjoying the fruits of your labour" - but that labour is something you do for YOU, not for her. You would do it even if she was not there at all ; she didn't ask for it, and did not make her love for you conditional on it. Being fat is not entirely a free and easy choice, for many people. Do you work out with her at the gym, and work together on enjoying a healthy diet ?
Now, as part of this relationship you DID do a number of things I'm sure she appreciates and yet which are also really beneficial for you - gave up the drugs, the youngsters, and the wild nights. It was surely time to make those changes anyway.
Recognizing all the good in her and appreciating that was a good sign of maturity in your relationships. It is part of a maturation that will make you a greater man, getting more toned and in-shape in your heart and mind, rather than only bodily.
I'm assuming it's a typo when you say most girls want a guy with a "sick pack". I do hope so !


Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement