Our expert says:
Dude ? How interesting to hear from you again! It's been quite a long time. Thanks for sending some happies - I'm about to go off to India for a couple of weeks, so they're just in time for me to pack 'em !
Fat is a powerful personal issue, especially to people who find it dificult to lose weight ( or easy to gain it ) and who enjoy life without feeling the need to be so trim and shapely - who enjoy being themselves as they are, rather than feeling they have to re-shape themselves to please someone else.
Imagine if she confided that she's deeply fond of you, but finds herself somewhat turned off by your being so muscular and toned, and would really enjoy it if you became more roly-poly and cuddly - would you really be happy to do that to yourself, for her ?
YOu speak of her "enjoying the fruits of your labour" - but that labour is something you do for YOU, not for her. You would do it even if she was not there at all ; she didn't ask for it, and did not make her love for you conditional on it. Being fat is not entirely a free and easy choice, for many people. Do you work out with her at the gym, and work together on enjoying a healthy diet ?
Now, as part of this relationship you DID do a number of things I'm sure she appreciates and yet which are also really beneficial for you - gave up the drugs, the youngsters, and the wild nights. It was surely time to make those changes anyway.
Recognizing all the good in her and appreciating that was a good sign of maturity in your relationships. It is part of a maturation that will make you a greater man, getting more toned and in-shape in your heart and mind, rather than only bodily.
I'm assuming it's a typo when you say most girls want a guy with a "sick pack". I do hope so !
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