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Question
Posted by: MARISH | 2008/06/10

lying at young age.HELP

hi doc
my 3yr old daughter has started lying since a few months ago. it is never she that did something, i know she knows that she is lying. before i even find out she did something wrong she runs to me and says its not her, its her brother (7). i used to disipline my son but have found that she lies. when i catch her doing wrong she appologises the whole time. i dont know where she learned to lie as i never lie to them.
please help!!

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Our expert says:
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OK, Rushing to you to deny something you don't even yet know she's done, she's not a skilled liar ! KIds don't need to be taught to lie, it comes naturally to all of us. And around this age, kids may start to try it out as a viable tactic. If it seems to work, that is, it helps them get away with misbehaving, they'll increase its use. But if you take the time to talk with her about it, show that if she has accidents or minor misbehaviours and ADMITS these rather than lying about it, you will understand and she won't be in trouble. But that if you find her lying, she will have to sit aside in a naughty place for 4 minutes, not for what she did ( unless it was awful, too ) but for lying about it. When she discovers that lying is more trouble than it's worth, and that admitting one's errors and putting them right is useful as well as good, she'll be discouraged from developing lying as a habit

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