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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010-01-19

Lust/ Love/ Infatuation

I have a huge problem, married and I have a guy I slept with that he' s constantly on my mind. I just don' t want to cheat with him I want him to be mine.

I slept with him twice and I told myself I shouldn' t go back because I' m a married woman. The first time it was just so overwhelming, I wanted to go again and see if what I felt the first time will happen again. And it did.

Now sex with my husband is not the same. I don' t feel any connection, everytime he touches me I so wish it was the other guy. I imagine my husband as him to get through it. What is this lust/ infatuation?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Be cautious about the extreme possessiveness of "I want him to be MINE" - slavery was abolished some years ago.

You are a married woman, who has apparently at least twice cheated on your husband. Of course sex with your husband isn't quite the same - but that's not inevitable - it is caused by your cheating, not the cause of it.

This does indeed sound like lust - why not rather invest time and effort, with the help of a marriage counsellor if necessary, to heal the relationship to which you are supposed to be committed ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: charne | 2010-01-21

I don' t think you are a slut - we have the right to enjoy our sexuality, and sometimes we can' t be ourselves with our partners as there are simply too many other demands on us - work, household chores, kids etc. how can we still be miss sexy?!

In the end, the relationship you have with this guy satisfies a part of you, it' s got nothing to do with your husband and your relationship, enjoy being a woman who's lusted after. What' s wrong with lust, after all?

Reply to charne
Posted by: R | 2010-01-20

I wrote that because if this statement was made by a man he would be cruisified by the women on the site. But when a woman does this it is ok and just lust etc. Admit what and who you are!!

Reply to R
Posted by: love | 2010-01-19

I think it' s lust because that has happened with me same situation as yours. But at the end I regretted every single moment I spent with the guy as I did not love him as my husband, and also our sexual life in the house with my husband also came to a standstill.

Now every thing is fine because I did talk to my husband with what did not satisfiy me in the house. So my advise to you is: stop seeing the guy now or you will regret it.

Reply to love
Posted by: Anon2 | 2010-01-19

Anon why r u so quick to defend yourself? pretending to be R!?! do you know how many of us need good man that can commit to us?

Reply to Anon2
Posted by: ......... | 2010-01-19

Do you know that condoms breaks as well, and you don' t know that guys status. One mistake, you might be infected. Please think about your family, pray about it, flesh can lead you to wrong things, temptations.

Reply to .........
Posted by: Bongi | 2010-01-19

I think it' s lust. Excitement with the " new" . Once the newness is gone it won' t be so exciting anymore and all you will be left with is regret. Imagine what it would do to your husband if he found out. Stop it.

Reply to Bongi
Posted by: comment to " R"  | 2010-01-19

Those comments are not welcome on this forum. It is easier to judge when you are not in the situation. There are many posts on this forum where more and more women are having affairs and it is not right but bad behaviour or sometimes just " things happen"  it is the indivuals consequence to carry but posting for an opinion on this forum means that you are in desperate need for someones advise. So if you object to someones behaviour choose your words wisely as this way of name calling is not helping anyone. Thank you

Reply to comment to &quot R&quot 
Posted by: R | 2010-01-19

Have you considered the faint possibility that you are a slut? Yet your husband I presume must treat you with respect and love and look after you!!!!

Reply to R
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-19

Be cautious about the extreme possessiveness of "I want him to be MINE" - slavery was abolished some years ago.

You are a married woman, who has apparently at least twice cheated on your husband. Of course sex with your husband isn't quite the same - but that's not inevitable - it is caused by your cheating, not the cause of it.

This does indeed sound like lust - why not rather invest time and effort, with the help of a marriage counsellor if necessary, to heal the relationship to which you are supposed to be committed ?

Reply to cybershrink

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