Our expert says:
Be cautious about the extreme possessiveness of "I want him to be MINE" - slavery was abolished some years ago.
You are a married woman, who has apparently at least twice cheated on your husband. Of course sex with your husband isn't quite the same - but that's not inevitable - it is caused by your cheating, not the cause of it.
This does indeed sound like lust - why not rather invest time and effort, with the help of a marriage counsellor if necessary, to heal the relationship to which you are supposed to be committed ?
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