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Question
Posted by: Mary | 2010/06/29

Low Sex drive

Please please i need some advise. I am well I think happily married with a man with high sex drive. Now I also love sex..........BUT........I am never in the mood. My problem is that i stay too tired. I can plan the morning on my way to work what am i gonna do tonight, even when i get home, plan how i am gonna show my man.............But as soon as i put my head down on the pillow, i am gone. We often fight about this sex issue, coz he feels i don''t want to give him. But i really want to give him. Also the our other problem is the baby. Well she is 3 yrs old and WOULD NOT go to bed without us. Especially now that it''s winter....... Or sometimes she''ll fall asleep than we put her in bed next to her older sister, so she can sleep throughout the night. It helps sometimes, but most of the nights, she ll come to us during the night. But even is she''s sleeping by us or somewhere else, i am still the problem. I sleep my life away and my husband is really " Dik" of it. I need to drink sometime to stay awake and also something for the sex drive. Please any advise would be appreciated. Coz it''s just a matter of time before he goes somewhere else. Thanks a mill.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

This is quite a common difficulty. Libido difficulties are often made worse by tiredness, and women often (but not always) have more difficulties with their libido than men! Furthermore, women often (but not always) tend to take on responsibility for children who are not sleeping etc - this ideally is a shared responsibilty and a problem that you and your husband need to tackle together. The facts are that (1) you have a loss of hunger for sex (common) but are still interested in sex (great to hear and a good sign), (2) the tiredness due to the interruptions you have with your 3yr old mean that you struggle to stay awake long enough to BE sexual with him. Your options are to (a) change the sleeping patterns of your 3 yr old - you need his assistance and support with this, and/or(b) find ways to be sexual at other times when you are less tired, and/or (c) have a baby sitter from time to time to give you couple time so that you two can connect emotionally and physically as a COUPLE and not just parents.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: private | 2010/07/01

Hi Mary, I''m going throught the same thing myself.I used to love sex and was the one who wanted it every day, but my son was born and working so far it has become difficult. yes get some vitamins but it will not help for long and then u will get addicted. I spoke to hubby about it and we made an arragement that we would set a day aside, like Wednesday''s is one of them so when I come from and take a shower he will come and join me then I go to bed after that he goes about what he wanted to do. This really is working for us. And hubby loves the bj the times we do not have sex.

Reply to private
Posted by: Mary | 2010/06/29

Hi Michelle
Please can you tell me where to get this Spanish Fly. I also read a little now on it and i want it very bad, coz really to be so " sexless"  is just not on.

Reply to Mary
Posted by: Michelle | 2010/06/29

Hi,MARY.I ALSO HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM.SOMEONE HAS TOLD ME TO GET GERMAN DROPS,LIKE SPANISH FLY,she says this works wonders from the site she has read.

Reply to Michelle
Posted by: Peter | 2010/06/29

Hi Mary, i often ask this question and my answer from my own experience is that you need to get some vitamin supplement and some omega 3 &  6 to get your enery levels up. The reason is that when you permanently tired there is just no way that you will feel like sex. Also your diet plays a big role so it is something to look into.

Good luck with getting something that works we all different, but stress and your personal well being does play a big role.

Reply to Peter
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/06/29

This is quite a common difficulty. Libido difficulties are often made worse by tiredness, and women often (but not always) have more difficulties with their libido than men! Furthermore, women often (but not always) tend to take on responsibility for children who are not sleeping etc - this ideally is a shared responsibilty and a problem that you and your husband need to tackle together. The facts are that (1) you have a loss of hunger for sex (common) but are still interested in sex (great to hear and a good sign), (2) the tiredness due to the interruptions you have with your 3yr old mean that you struggle to stay awake long enough to BE sexual with him. Your options are to (a) change the sleeping patterns of your 3 yr old - you need his assistance and support with this, and/or(b) find ways to be sexual at other times when you are less tired, and/or (c) have a baby sitter from time to time to give you couple time so that you two can connect emotionally and physically as a COUPLE and not just parents.

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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