Our expert says:
I would strongly recommend you to consult a sex therapist in your area. There has been groundbreaking new research with regards to better understanding libido in women and the therapist would be in a position to share this with you and your partner sensitively and in much detail.
It is now known that some women some of the time experience a physical sensation which they interpret as an indication that they are feeling "horny" or desiring sex. It is also known that especially after the birth of a first child and as a women ages, for the some women who did sometimes experience a physical sensation of desiring sex diminishes. Factors such as the side effects of the pill and other medications also can add to the reduction in the experience of physical sensation of desire.
Most women most of the time are receptive to sex based on psychological motivations such as a desire for affection, desire for intimacy, a desire to feel wanted, to feel attractive,etc. Based on this primarily psychological motovation a women may initiate a sexual encounter or be receptive to the advances of the partner based on these. Then depending on how well the partner knows the women's body and what kind of stimulation works for her, is then able to physically stimulate her to a state of arousal, at which poin the women more often experiences the physical sensations of desire which now join her initial psychological desire and she may then continue the sexual encounter.
The reason men more often feel a physical sensation as an indication of their sexual desire is because the penis and scrotum hangs outside the body. Any form of stimulation results in blood flow into the penis causing weight and tension which the man interprets as horniness. A women's genitals are internal.
I hope this helps to clarify.
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