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Question
Posted by: Dawn | 2012/10/01

loving yourself

If someone says " You need to start loving yourself"  - how do you do this? Isnt that being conceited or arrogant? I dont have any self confidence and I desperately want to improve this. I cant afford CBT, do self help books work? Thanks.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are some helpful CBT-style self-help books ( usually the most useful form, whereas others tend to be written with empty exhortations and sound like an anthology of greetings cards !
Its less of a love affair than respecting yourself, recognizing your good qualities and forgiving your weaker qualities while working on enhancing them ; noting and giving yourself full credit for what you HAVE achieved and CAn do, rathet than brooding on what you convince yourself you cant do. This is where the CBT approach is especially good, as it focusses on recognizing the automatic negative thoughts that can too easily become a bad habit, testing them and finding them inaccurate and unhelpful, and revising them usefully. Do a web search as there is some CBT style aadvice online ; and for books, I recommend first searching on Amazon.com for the reviews by other customers in selecting promising titles ; then pricing the same books online here, where Loot.co.za can be useful, and Takealot.com can even source from Amazon UK or USA for you, often at a really competitive price.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/01

There are some helpful CBT-style self-help books ( usually the most useful form, whereas others tend to be written with empty exhortations and sound like an anthology of greetings cards !
Its less of a love affair than respecting yourself, recognizing your good qualities and forgiving your weaker qualities while working on enhancing them ; noting and giving yourself full credit for what you HAVE achieved and CAn do, rathet than brooding on what you convince yourself you cant do. This is where the CBT approach is especially good, as it focusses on recognizing the automatic negative thoughts that can too easily become a bad habit, testing them and finding them inaccurate and unhelpful, and revising them usefully. Do a web search as there is some CBT style aadvice online ; and for books, I recommend first searching on Amazon.com for the reviews by other customers in selecting promising titles ; then pricing the same books online here, where Loot.co.za can be useful, and Takealot.com can even source from Amazon UK or USA for you, often at a really competitive price.

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