Posted by: Alexs | 2008-12-16

Loving Child But gets angry and upset

My son is 10 years old, but has always had a problem managing his temper and feelings, his feelings get hurt very easily and he gets very angry easily which scares us because he clenches his fists and his face becomes very angry. He just wants to hit everyone when he gets like this. We have tried to teach him how to walk away from things that make him angry and also if his siblings upset him to ignore them and walk away. He is a loving child and does well at school. He also twitches his nose and muscles involuntarily. Please help he is a soft good kid with a tendency to get very aggressive.

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Our expert says:
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It may be well worth while to take him to see a child psychologist for a fuller assessment and advice, as he could learn better ways of handling frustration and anger, with lasting benefit. The twitching sugests there's a possibility that something else is worrying or stressing him, too, and the child psych would be better able to assess this, identify it if relevant, and again, advise on how to most readily real with it

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Our users say:
Posted by: Zexeon | 2008-12-17

With time and guidance it can improve. The other day I took my kids to the park to play. They started arguiing who would bat first in which he stood back and let his sister bowl first and then she criticised him on his bowling which was well explained that if he would bowl otherwise the ball would bounce to close to her. Anyway when changing players she bowled him out with the first bowl and he complained as I announced he' s out then they agreed to play to the usuall old rule. So my duaghter was bit upset so threw the ball extra hard and hit his hand sothat his whole hand was redish. So instead of storming her he threw the bat to pieces on the ground. I repremanded him and disallowed him to have the bat fixed as he wanted. I' ve told him he would have to do with the 2 ols bats thats still home. Later I explained if he should behave like that in a cricket game they would disqualify him and he might even have to pay for the bat. So he replied the bat wasn' t of grate quality cause he didn' t even threw it that hard. So I agreed that the quality isn' t the same as the bat his dad gave him but did he hear what I' m trying to explain to him and he said yes and I got a hug actually it ought to be a sorry.

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Posted by: Sue | 2008-12-16

Is he a scorpio by any chance? (birthday star sign) if so I can advise futher. Otherwise teaching a kid that is really angry to just walk away, just ignore it walk away, keeps the anger bottled in, and it will blows up at some point. Find a way to help him to express the anger in a healthy way, with out hurting people and objects.(this is not ok) Its also important to teach that it is ok to be angry and what to do when you are angry. For instance 1) say time out, go hit a pillow to let all the anger out, scream if you want, 2) know that it is ok to be angry 3) think why are you angry 4) when you thought about it and feel calm 5) speak to the person, and tell them that that you feel hurt etc, this is were you will have to give examples what is a good way to express yourself, without creating agreesion in the other person, say I feel hurt, i feel angry, please don t touch my stuff, teach that speaking calm and to the point will have better resutls than anger. But most important first valuedate that his feelings is ok, and that you hear him before saying dont be angry , walk away, otherwise the angry goes worse in an attempt to let people hear him.

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