advertisement
Question
Posted by: relationshio going down the toilet | 2011/07/01

loving

hi, me and my bf has been together for 2 years and 6 months,
we were engaged for a year until last september when his brther passed away, he needed space, which i gave him,we got back together but its never the same anymore, we fight continueously,evry 5 minutes, we now have sex maybe once a month, he stays with his mom, and i with mine,he came to live with me for a short while but we decided it best for him to stay withhis mom as he lost his job, and him and my moms bf dont get along.financially i cant afford a place for us to stay together, i sed to buy and spend alot on him, i just dont feel like doing it since he always rude with me. i still pay his bank loan, which i will be finished with this month. some how i get a feeling after that he will write me off.
this month i also have some 3000 rand extra, and were going to spend it on myself and my mom, cause i dont spend on myself usually, but the dog had to get emergency medical treatment which i offered to pay as my mom cant, so when he found out about it he was so angry, telling me i am stupid, going on and on about it.i told him it is my money, he doesnt even want to get married so he does not even have the smallest say on what i do with my money, but he sayd i must not cry if i cant pay my debts one month, cause he does not want to hear it.... even if i do cry about it with him, he wont be able to help me, cause he is too lazy to find a new job.if he at least pretended things are ok with us, or we were married, he could have a say on my hard earned money.
tomorrow is his birthday, he asked me not to buy gift, he wanted the money, already spend it, now i ordered some snacks to celebrate his bday at my place, but he does not want to come?he wants to be with his family.

i realise now that our relationship is never gonna be ok again, and we are set for disaster.
i realy love him so much, but together we aint good.
the main thing is ... how do i release my heart from him, how do i loosen myself from him, because even if he does not love me totally, i still love him truly, but knows it wont work, so i need to part from him permanently.(i did try beforeit does not work, after sex we are togeter again)

please give me advice on how to let go of him.
thnk you.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hi there,

As I read your story my heart really went out to you. What also stood out for me is that you are also a smart and intuitive women.

As you wrote the history of your relationship you clearly came to your own insight about your relationship and your boyfriend and you have realised that he is to respecting and valueing you as you deserve to be valued and that the relationship is not working.

It takes alot more that loving someone for a relationship to work.

There is no easy way to let go of some one. You need to hold onto your insight and trust your intuition and end the relationship as you realised in your posting.

Then you need to allow time to be your healer. Get together with your friends. Do fun things together and put your mind and energy on other things for a while.

In time it gets easier.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

10
Our users say:
Posted by: mk2 | 2011/07/04

Damm Girl,

trust u girl trust u buy biggest size and call mk2....

Reply to mk2
Posted by: relationship going down the toilet | 2011/07/04

mk2......dont make me angry!
i AM DONE WITH MEN FOR NOW, AND I DEFINATELY WONT BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ON A SITE OR ON EXPERT ADVICE SITE.


I BET MK2 STANDS FOR mixit king2....hahaha, go get someone else.
i am gonna enjoy my singleship...with a vibrator!

Reply to relationship going down the toilet
Posted by: mk2 | 2011/07/04

Hi,

It''s good to see u dumped the guy.....are u looking for a new guy in ur life....whats ur email add...beuatiful

Reply to mk2
Posted by: Manwood | 2011/07/04

Well done...now go and get that Vibrator girl!

Reply to Manwood
Posted by: relationship going down the toilet | 2011/07/04

hi guys, i still invited him for the bday, trying a last time.....
he didnt pitch, went out with his uncle, also where he knows he gets money, and i just drew the line there and then, i dumped him on his bday, i destroyed all the memories we had, fotos, gifts,and so on, i enjoyed tearing up the things, on sunday he just phoned me and asked he just wanted to know if i did not commit suicide, which i told him why in the world would i do that for him? he said no he is sorry for saturday not pitching...i said "  you are forgiven, but dont think i am taking you back, we just dont go well together, and we dont have a future, "  he said ok, and dropped the phone.
i did not even cry a tear further. i am so over him now. i thank the heavenly father for operning my eyes, as well as all my friends and family for standing by me, now i can go on, and live my life.thanks everyone, here for your comments as well, it also assited in a way.
toodles.

Reply to relationship going down the toilet
Posted by: Realist | 2011/07/02

Kick his sorry arse out of your life and start getting one. Sheesh, you girls !!!

Reply to Realist
Posted by: Anon | 2011/07/01

This man is using you and sponging on you. Stop paying his debts and giving him money and stop having sex with him. Make a decision to dump him once and for all and stick to it and when you feel like you are going to give in, just remember all the bad stuff like being rude to you and trying to tell you what to do with your money.

If it is like this now, with him being lazy and not working and sponging off you, just think what it will be if you do marry him? Find yourself somebody who deserves how much you do for them and appreciates it AND who looks after you and takes care of you too.

YOU DESERVE BETTER. Leave this loser.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: relationship going down the toilet | 2011/07/01

haha thanks so much manwood, i agree with you, thing is just how do i get rid of the bf. how do i flash away my love for him?

i know the vibrator will always be of good companionship......

Reply to relationship going down the toilet
Posted by: Manwood | 2011/07/01

Here''s some advice:

Invest in a Vibrator, here''s 10 reaons why it will be better than your boyfriend.

1. It will satisfy you sexually, unlike your boyfriend.
2. It won''t spend your money.
3. It won''t get upset with you.
4. You can perform vaginal, oral or anal sex with it, everyday if you like.
5. It won''t need ''space''. (only the space between...).
6. It can live with you.
7. It doesn''t have a brother who passed away.
8. If you plan a birthday party for the vibrator, it will be there.
9. It does not have debt.
10. Again, it will sexually satisfy you over and over again.

I hope this helps.

Reply to Manwood
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/07/01

Hi there,

As I read your story my heart really went out to you. What also stood out for me is that you are also a smart and intuitive women.

As you wrote the history of your relationship you clearly came to your own insight about your relationship and your boyfriend and you have realised that he is to respecting and valueing you as you deserve to be valued and that the relationship is not working.

It takes alot more that loving someone for a relationship to work.

There is no easy way to let go of some one. You need to hold onto your insight and trust your intuition and end the relationship as you realised in your posting.

Then you need to allow time to be your healer. Get together with your friends. Do fun things together and put your mind and energy on other things for a while.

In time it gets easier.

Reply to sexologist

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement