Posted by: Loveless | 2009-04-15


Hi Sir

i know you are not a soothsayer but please give me hope. i am 28 have been single (essentially) for the past four years and i am despairing. i am fiercely indipendent yet woman enough to respect a man but no luck. yesterday i went on a date just to give it a shot (blind) the guy turned out to be a fossil (45) i swear other patrons probably thought it was father daughter nite..and he wont be seeing me again..some of my friends have argued that 45 is not too old and he runs two companies i should give it a shot i am not getting any younger but i wont do that...i would feel like i am shagging my father all for what?...i dont want to conform i want it really out there or am i stuck in Cinderella mode i need to know so i can prepare for the worst...why is nothing happening..i am not ugly i am not shy but ..nothing..ive prayed and tested waters i even delibarating sangomas out of sheer frustration even though i know that would essetially constitute parting with my hard earned money for nothing...i am despairing its not pleasant being alone..all the time.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Not a sooth sayer ? OK, now, I haven't actually said "SOOTH !" for, ooh, days. But I can say sooth as well as the next guy, and MUCH better than the guy next to him.
OK, sooth having been said. So you haven't been lucky in relartionships ---SO FAR. And some folks are fossils before they're 20. Are you saying that he is automaically a fossil because he is 45 ( which would make me Neanderthal ) or that regardless of actual age, he thinks and behaves like a fossil ? Love is out there, and many people find it --- maybe this just wasn't the guy you would love or vice versa. Don't draw conclusions that apply more broadly than you, him and that particular night. Get involved in activities you enjoy ( hobbies, charity work, whatever ) and you're more likely to meet lively, nice people with similar interests.
Sooth !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Juice | 2009-04-16

I would kills for a Fossil, my partner is 5 years older than me and it feels like I have 3 kids in the house instead 2 and a hubby who is infact older than me...

Reply to Juice
Posted by: Mom | 2009-04-16

When younger I was always by the elders to rather be an old mans darling than a young mans slave and I left the old fossil, that treated me like a queen, had a housekeeper to do all around the house, I lay at the pool, he served me whatever I wnated, ran my bath, light candles all around starting from the door, put in the bath salts and served me wine while I relaxed in the bath, wrapped me in a towel and massaged my whole body in oils and was never 24/7 sexually active, he had lots of respect for a woman.
Clever me, I went for the young brute, boy did I suffer, cheating, beating, maid, cook, garden girl whilst he went jolling. But some people never take heed to lessions learnt from othere through the hard way.

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Really | 2009-04-15

I agree, go out with him and see what happens....but if you are still in the party mood, you might just want to make sure that he will allow you to do this, because men that age, most done with partying, don' t take lightly to their younger counterparts still carrying on..... and this might be the route to all evil...

PS: 45 is not old, especially if they take care of themself!

All the best

Reply to Really
Posted by: Anon | 2009-04-15

45 is not old, actually a 45 year old man is rather attractive, if he doesnt look like a fossil. Perhaps go out with him again and if nothing develops then at least a friendship will grow. At 45 most men have had their days of jolling etc etc, well most of them anyway. They have found their " niche"  in life and over with the BS. Go for it and see what happens! hey, maybe he could even teach you a thing or two!

Reply to Anon

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