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Question
Posted by: Emily | 2011/11/02

Love2Meet

I am looking to meet a good man with a view to getting married one day. I have 2 long-term relationships behind me and do not wish to go dating without some history so to speak. I am very nervous. I put my profile on this forum (very honest) and had a reply from the profile that I fancied. I even said I had lots of kilos to lose.

Has anyone had success with on-line?

Meet the person in a very public place close to home?

Never sure about how info to divulge when you are in the chatting stage on-line. I am the type of person that gives it all (except address, tel no) because I feel take it or leave it?

I expect men would want a more conservative approach i.e. it may be info overload or best left to be said in person?

The basic likes and dislikes are there. No photos.

A family member in LDN met the love of her life through on-line after a failed marriage.

I just wonder if they are full of genuine people or undesirables looking for opportunities?

Thanks
Emily

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I didn't know we had any sort of dating service on this forum. You amaze me. Online, whatever you choose to divolge, you never know whether the person on the other side is inventing the whole thing. You don't know who you can trust, and they don't know if they can trust you. For all they know, you may sound great, and you're actually not a nice marriagable woman, but a 85 year-old male trucker with a beer belly and beard.
I'm sure there are some very nice people out there, some not so nice, and a few predators, but the trouble is how could you tell which is which ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: vovo | 2011/11/05

I met a doctor, urologist tend out he is a psyco at the age of 52 he does not have a chIld or anything except that he brags about his money, when ever I got pregnant he will put abortion pills in my juice, it looked like that he is been doing for the rest of his life. I don''t want to rule out online dating but please be careful

Reply to vovo
Posted by: Maria | 2011/11/02

I met my husband on Love2Meet, happily married for more than 6 years now. Rules I followed:
- Chat on email for at least a week or two before meeting f2f.
- Give cellphone number if you want to, but not your address.
- Meet during daytime, at a public place. Have a friend call you an hour or so into the date. You can then manufacture an excuse to leave if you want to. Also make sure a friend or family member knows where you are going, what the guy''s name is, and what time you expect to be back.

After making the mistake of meeting a guy for supper after only chatting on email once or twice, I came up with the rules above! I shared quite a lot of info during the email stage, assuming the guy did the same, that helps to weed out the frogs from the princes. I do realise though that some people just don''t have the ability to express themselves well in writing, you do have to make allowance for that.

Oh, and any guy who objects to your rules above does not have respect for you from the word go, and doesn''t merit any further contact.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011/11/02

The adult dating sites are even worse!!!! Sex is all men and women are interested in!! I still can not believe the photos people send in of their privates!!!

Unreal!!! The men I can still understand showing off, but the women!! hundreds of them!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Ty | 2011/11/02

well I met my wife on an online dating site, met plenty of woman befor I met my wife and I agree with Cybershrink, some were very weird some nice, and don''t trust the photos :). but when I met my wife we got engaged after 3 weeks married after 3 months :)

Reply to Ty
Posted by: JR | 2011/11/02

Be very wary of dating sites. There are some weird people out there, and what I found out is that most men are just after sex, they are not interested in relationships.

The pity is that the genuine ones are really tragic. They have been cheated on by their wives, or she just left or they have low self esteem and then there are those who, even though they think they have, never dealt got over their previous relationship.

However, if you are going to do the online thing, you can pretty much tell in the first two or three emails whether the person is genuine or a predator as CS puts it.

If you are going to go on a date, it must be in a very public place, prefferably in broad daylight (the first time anyway) You go in your own car so that you can go home by yourself.

I did meet a man online that I did eventually marry, but we split up after just one year. I dont think either of us were really healed from previous relationships, and we rushed in without first dealing with the issues we had.

All I can say to you is, take your time, dont rush into anything, and suss the person out properly before entering into anything you may regret.

Reply to JR
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/11/02

I didn't know we had any sort of dating service on this forum. You amaze me. Online, whatever you choose to divolge, you never know whether the person on the other side is inventing the whole thing. You don't know who you can trust, and they don't know if they can trust you. For all they know, you may sound great, and you're actually not a nice marriagable woman, but a 85 year-old male trucker with a beer belly and beard.
I'm sure there are some very nice people out there, some not so nice, and a few predators, but the trouble is how could you tell which is which ?

Reply to cybershrink

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