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Posted by: In Pieces | 2011-03-09

Love Lost Part2

Thank you so much for the kind remarks.I just wanted to add something.I have a beautiful 5 year old little girl with my gf that passed away.I love her so much but she looks exactly like her mom and it kills me when i look at her.I sob uncontrolably and i dont want her to feel like she is making me sad but i cant help it.I sometimes drop her off at her gran because my heart breaks eveytime i look at her.I almost feel like im trying to avoid her.Which is wrong because she is also grieving.Does this make me a bad father?What can i do to change my behaviour towards her?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Try to see her a bit differently - not as a painful reminder of her mother who you have lost, but as a marvellous reminder of her, and a lasting and very real way in which her mother continues to live. You're not a bad father, but maybe you need to see a counsellor to manage better with your grief work, and to be sure that the child, in her own grief, doesn't feel rejected. Celebrate her as a living carrier of her mom's spirit and beauty

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2011-03-10

My pleasure. I hope you are doing okay today?

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Liane | 2011-03-09

I cannot imagine what you must be going through, but know that a complete stranger is praying for you and hoping the pain will subside real soon... All the best

Reply to Liane
Posted by: In Pieces | 2011-03-09

Thank you so much for your kind words woman.I am crying as i read your comment.Thank you so so so so much

Reply to In Pieces
Posted by: Woman | 2011-03-09

I am so sorry to hear of your loss! Please know that you have all the right in the world whatever you need to feel. Grief is a process and you will eventually work through it. Allow yourself time and patience to deal with your loss. A friend of mine grieved for 5 years after his fiancé e died.

You are lucky that you have a little one who you can tell all about her. One day. Who you can look at and see her. One day. But not now. cry, scream, and do whatever you feel like because you have every right to. And please, please, don''t go though this alone, enlist the help of a good counselor for you and your daughter. They know what to do and will help you both through this.

Please take some kind of medication to help you initially, and make sure you have fruit in the house and take a good multi-vitamin and extra vit. C. If you can''t eat, drink a meal replacement drink. Your body needs all the help it can get to carry your heart and your emotions during this time.

Have hope, one day this pain and desolation *will* pass. May the prayers of loved ones and strangers bring you a little comfort!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-03-09

Try to see her a bit differently - not as a painful reminder of her mother who you have lost, but as a marvellous reminder of her, and a lasting and very real way in which her mother continues to live. You're not a bad father, but maybe you need to see a counsellor to manage better with your grief work, and to be sure that the child, in her own grief, doesn't feel rejected. Celebrate her as a living carrier of her mom's spirit and beauty

Reply to cybershrink

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