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Question
Posted by: H | 2010/07/19

Love

My boyfriend and I were dating for over a year and a half, we kept it a secret from our parents because we of different religions.
We have told our parents about our relationship last week and my parents were not too happy but I am willing to challenge them and I know they trust my judgement and will accept it.
However my boyfriend''s parents are totally against it and said they will disown him.
He has now broken up with me because he chooses his family (rightfully) but all I wanted was for him to keep trying to convince them and he has given up so soon.
I was willing to convert and learn everything that there is to learn about his religion but that does not seem to be good enough.
I am really hurt and dont know where to go from here.
Please advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its interesting, but based on postings i this forum, this sort of problem, of couples of different religions and concerns about their parents, seem relatively common. In practice ( and there don't seem to have been many formal studies of such issues ) I have come across many long-term happy mixed-religion marriages, and some that have remained strained for decades.
I think it is tagic when parents threaten to "disown" ( what an odd and ugly word that is !) a child because they happen to love someone that in some way doesn't match the parents' expectations.
Maybe he gave up on trying to persuade them, earlier than you would have done, because of his long experience of their rigidity and resistance to change ?
A counsellor may be able to help you to move ahead with your life, moving on from a relationship that was not ultimately going to happen, to find one that will

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Lin | 2010/07/19

If he chose his family, then he''s not the right person for you. It doesn''t help that you''d give up everything and he doesn''t even want to try. Go on with your life. Find someone that''ll be there for you just as much as you are there for him.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/19

Its interesting, but based on postings i this forum, this sort of problem, of couples of different religions and concerns about their parents, seem relatively common. In practice ( and there don't seem to have been many formal studies of such issues ) I have come across many long-term happy mixed-religion marriages, and some that have remained strained for decades.
I think it is tagic when parents threaten to "disown" ( what an odd and ugly word that is !) a child because they happen to love someone that in some way doesn't match the parents' expectations.
Maybe he gave up on trying to persuade them, earlier than you would have done, because of his long experience of their rigidity and resistance to change ?
A counsellor may be able to help you to move ahead with your life, moving on from a relationship that was not ultimately going to happen, to find one that will

Reply to cybershrink

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