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Question
Posted by: Sad | 2010/05/05

Love

I met a man 2 years ago. we work together and we are of very different religions. we have had a secret relationship on and off and i see him almost every day at work. he has said to me from the beginning that we cannot be together because his family will not accept me and will also cut him out of the family. they are very religious. I told him that I am willing to convert but he says his family wont accept a convert and they are wanting to get a arranged marriage. He says he loves me but cannot hurt his parents so we need to end this relationship and he is prepared to get arranged to someone. I have known this for 2 years but i was hoping that it would somehow change and he will stand up to his family. But sadly it is still the same and he says we really need to work on a friendship. This hurts so much and I see him almost everyday due to work. I know that I should of not gotten into this when I knew it could not go anywhere but I cant change the past. where do I go from here? How do I let go? And how do I deal with the pain that he may be arranged to be married? Do you think he really loved me? This hurts so much. I dont know how to deal with it.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I such a "secret relatonship", he may be keeping far more secrets from you than you may think. At the very least, he is enjoying a presumably sexual affair with you, but doesn't care for you enough to challenge his parents expectations. You are due to be used until and maybe beyond the time of his arranged marriage. His elationship with you sounds more like convenience than love.
You let go by letting go, and not by asking the question in such a way as to imply that there's any reason why you can't decide to stop being used and end this relationship.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: NY | 2010/05/07

do yourself a favour and leave him. if he really loved you, he would do everything including challenging his parents just to be with you. do not allow yourself to be used, you will only regret it later, and wish you had done it sooner. ending a relationship will always hurt, but the pain does heal

Reply to NY
Posted by: Phil | 2010/05/06

Sorry, don''t know what happened there. Anyhow, rather see it as the beginning of a new chapter in your life. One with new and myabe more meaningfull oppertunities. Because if you have to stay in this one, you will never go anywhere meaningfull, sol rather end it now and start with a new life. Good luck.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Phil | 2010/05/06

Sorry, I''m going to be harsh with this one. You have answered yourself really. " Secret relationship"  You were friends with benefits, but you fell in love. Sadly, it happens. But it isn''t the end of the world. Rath

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Phil | 2010/05/06

Sorry, I''m going to be harsh with this one. You have answered yourself really. " Secret relationship"  You were friends with benefits, but you fell in love. Sadly, it happens. But it isn''t the end of the world. Rath

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Phil | 2010/05/06

Sorry, I''m going to be harsh with this one. You have answered yourself really. " Secret relationship"  You were friends with benefits, but you fell in love. Sadly, it happens. But it isn''t the end of the world. Rath

Reply to Phil
Posted by: Gogo | 2010/05/06

He is lying he is using u maybe he is married

Reply to Gogo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/06

I such a "secret relatonship", he may be keeping far more secrets from you than you may think. At the very least, he is enjoying a presumably sexual affair with you, but doesn't care for you enough to challenge his parents expectations. You are due to be used until and maybe beyond the time of his arranged marriage. His elationship with you sounds more like convenience than love.
You let go by letting go, and not by asking the question in such a way as to imply that there's any reason why you can't decide to stop being used and end this relationship.

Reply to cybershrink

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