Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-01


I' m so confused, I think I' m in love, but it' s such a sublime feeling like you only feel once or twice in a lifetime. I' ve been in love before, I' ve known what it is to like someone before you know enough about sex to desire them and later I learnt what it is to love someone AND desire them in a sexual way too. But this time it' s different. He is an amazing person who doesn' t make me dream but think. He tells me about things and it makes me think of who I am and what I do, and it makes me less afraid to be myself and help people in need. He has no idea how he makes me feel because I don' t express it, but I love him for all the good things he does for others and his personality in general. I could sit beside him for hours, just talking with him. I feel like I have so much to learn from him. And he brings so much peace into my heart. Sometimes I wish I could spend my entire life beside him. I feel some physical attraction too and sometimes when he talks I feel tempted to touch his arm or face. But I don' t have any sexual feelings. I even feel like sex with him would be a crime. I feel like holding him and feeling his heart though. And the other day he bent towards me to say something and I thought he was going to kiss my cheek and felt my heart beating like never before. But fortunately I didn' t look at him, so he didn' t notice anything. I' m afraid that he realizes how much I like him and decides not to see me so often. But at the same time I' m not jealous if he tells me about his other friends and I' d be happy to see him happy with other girl, if he was in love with someone else, just the same way I' d be happy to be that girl. We are in our mid-twenties. Is it normal to feel like this and is there any kind of love when you love so much but you don' t feel like you HAVE to have this person' s love? Or is this just what you feel in a good friendship?

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Our expert says:
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I suppose it would only be at the very end of a lifetime that you'd know what one only feels once or twice in a lifetime, and you're probably a long way from that. Amyhow, it sounds as though you have found a good person in your life. But it sounds as though you may be obsessively over-analyzing the situation, massaging it in search of more, rather than just enjoying what there is. Sounds like the basis of a really good, non-possessive friendship. Enjoy

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