Posted by: Debbie | 2008-11-19


Hi, Doc

Just curious, i want to know why is love such a powerful force. people kill themeselves and others because of being rejected in love. what is it about this force that the world is looking for and if not found, things start getting wrong. i mean specifically in relationships. why the fact that someone doen' t love you anymore or rejects you makes you bitter, angry and sometimes suicidal or makes you cry?


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Our expert says:
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Is it love which causes those forms of damage, or some of our mistaken ideas and assumptions about it ? There can be an unwjholesome element of giving far too much power over your own happiness and life to someone else, who might not actually care

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nika | 2008-11-19

Dear Debbie and Doc

I' ve learned it the learned the hard way. Went out with a guy whom I thought was the love of my life and soulmate and GAVE TOO MUCH of myself. We broke up the first time last yr sept he came back and to tell the truth I was' nt sure if I wanted to be with him but as I am I told myself why not try and see where will go. Things were good only for a few months and bam i was unhappy could actually see that I didn' t want to be with sum1 lke him but still it was hard to just up and leave. I ended up cheating which i' m sure from all the signs I picked up he was doing anyway. He found out and broke up, I knew that this was my time to be free from him and happy but after that still allowed him to come back and hurt me by sleeping with me and leaving like i was a sum kind of call girl. Well he' s no seeing someone in the same building where I stay and this kills me but I' ve made plans to move on. What' s mustifying is the fact that he' s hurt me so bad and that includes physical abuse recently and still all that clouds my minds is thoughts of him and his new relationship. I' d like to think of myself as a mature intelligent person who' s made REALLY STUPID MISTAKES and kept on doing it co' s I search myself and question WHY ON THE BLOODY EARTH I cannot get rid of the pain he' s put me through and memories of him. Even asked myself that same question again today, why waste your time and love on som1 who really feels absolutely nothing for you at all!! And still no answer but i guess taking my life back and making the most and appreciating myself will be the best medicine I could ever give myself. (the point I actually wanted to make is that could is sometimes be that you become obssessed with the person or the ideal of what you could have had that makes it hard for you to let go. Or could it just be plain and simple stupidness. ) I mean i' m 30 now its not my first relationship.Is it just being in a relationship for a while in general that makes it difficult to see yourself single again?

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