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Question
Posted by: Snowie | 2012/05/21

Lost my mojo

Hi CS,

My husband and I have a small business which we had to restructure due to the current economy. He played computer games for most of the day for 3 years, whilst I tried my best to keep the ship afloat. He was tired of all the creditors threatening him and he went into a hole. Now things are turning, business is picking up and I find that I cannot keep up with him. I don''t have any enthusiasm and don''t feel like working today. I took one day''s leave last year on my birthday and four days over Easter. Could this just be a burnout of sorts? He has regular leave, away from the children and the business. He has had 2 weekends away this year and a week''s leave last year in August. I just need to mentally engage my brain to go up a gear or two to continue on with the business as I have been wishing for this for a long time.

Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, I've had a look in my desk, and there's no sign of it here !
Some people face adversity and problems as a challenge, and feel stimulated to find ways to handle the situation. Others tend to give up, stop trying, and switch to computer games.
It's called Denial, avoidance, and various other labels. For a weekend, its cheaper than a breakaway in St Lucia. For 3 years its unacceptable.
But if I understand you, he;s perked up as things improved, and managing OK round about now ?
As for you, sounds like you coped excellently during the toughest times, but maybe now you're a bit burned out. You surely need more time off, and not simply to sit at home worrying, but for some pampering and a real break - maybe a spa, or whatever turns you on and would occupy you enjoyably. Surely you deserve at the very least an equal share of leisure, which will refresh you and enhance your performance and enthusiasm again. If it doesn't, then its possible a depression and/or anxiety disorder may have crept up on you, and a psychiatrist could do a proper assessment and suggest treatment ( medication and/or CBT style counselling ) to help you emerge from those common and dispiriting conditions.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2012/05/21

You haven''t lost your mojo. You''ve just misplaced it for now. It really sounds like you''re on the verge of burnout and need a rest. Don''t feel guilty for needing a holiday. From what you''ve described, he really isn''t doing his fair share. Hiding from problems never works, but taking a short break could let you look at a situation differently and then bring solutions you could almost never think of when overstressed.

Could you ask your husband to handle things while you take a week off? And by that I mean that he handles EVERYTHING. From doing the business to checking the kids homework to cooking dinner and cleaning up at night.

The only way to make your husband truly see that he''s not doing his fair share, is to go for couples counseling. If he''s not willing to go for counseling, it would show that he isn''t willing to compromise and then you have to decide whether you''ll continue pulling his weight for him or whether you might be better off without him?

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/05/21

Well, I've had a look in my desk, and there's no sign of it here !
Some people face adversity and problems as a challenge, and feel stimulated to find ways to handle the situation. Others tend to give up, stop trying, and switch to computer games.
It's called Denial, avoidance, and various other labels. For a weekend, its cheaper than a breakaway in St Lucia. For 3 years its unacceptable.
But if I understand you, he;s perked up as things improved, and managing OK round about now ?
As for you, sounds like you coped excellently during the toughest times, but maybe now you're a bit burned out. You surely need more time off, and not simply to sit at home worrying, but for some pampering and a real break - maybe a spa, or whatever turns you on and would occupy you enjoyably. Surely you deserve at the very least an equal share of leisure, which will refresh you and enhance your performance and enthusiasm again. If it doesn't, then its possible a depression and/or anxiety disorder may have crept up on you, and a psychiatrist could do a proper assessment and suggest treatment ( medication and/or CBT style counselling ) to help you emerge from those common and dispiriting conditions.

Reply to cybershrink

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